GEORGIE is a troubled man in his 20’s. Here, he has just killed a girl scout on accident, and is trying to figure out what to do.
Let me tell you a lesson about life! Ok? Life is not… What do you do? You sell Girl Scout cookies? Ok, let me tell you something. What do you gotta sell? Like 300 of them? Ok. Let’s just say you gotta sell, like, 300 Thin Mints, ok? Like you got, ok, you got, like, 300 boxes of Thin Mints, right? Ok, you got 300 boxes of Thin Mints because those are the cookies that everybody loves, right? Ok, so here you are, you’re sellin ‘em. “Whoop de doo! Buy my Thin Mints!” Right? So, what happens? You sell 300 Thin Mints and what do you get? A medal? A fuckin patch on your shawl that says “Look at me, I sold three-hundred boxes of THIN MINTS?!?” Is that what it’s for? A fucking PATCH?!? (He calms down) Well, that’s cool. Because I mean, you know, patches are nice. They add a little color, a little… flavor to your brown and green. But… you just don’t understand. You just don’t understand that for every patch you receive in life, there will be some mother (whispering) *fucker* ready to stab you in the back and steal your patch away from you!!! You just don’t understand this. (He cries) And I’m teaching you a lesson. There will be some mother… You just don’t understand. You’re just a little girl. (Small pause) I had a patch, too, once. You think I’m a monster, but I had a patch, TOO. It was called a Bachelor’s Degree. I thought, “I could own the world.” Spent six years in college and I thought, “Man, I finally got it right.” Spent six years in c… I finally got it right. I thought, “Now I can get a job. Now I can do something with my life.” You think I’m a monster. You think I’m a monster cause I shot you, don’t you? You think… Well, I’m not a monster. I only did it cause I care. I only did it cause… (He stands) You’re right, I am a monster. They took my job away! What else could I do? I spent six years in college and they took my job away! I… What else could I do? They stabbed me in the back and took my job away. Just one mistake and they never let it die. Just… one mistake. And they never let it die. I just want my patch.