Way out west, there was this fella that I
wanna tell ya about. A fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski.
At least that was the handle his lovin' parents gave him,
but he never had much use for it himself. This Lebowski,
he called himself 'The Dude.' Now, 'Dude' - that's a name
no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there
was a lot about the 'Dude' that didn't make a whole lot
of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned
interestin'. They call Los Angeles the 'City Of Angels.'
I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow there
are some nice folks there. 'Course I can't say I've seen
London, and I've never been to France. And I ain't never
seen no queen in her damned undies, as the fella says.
But I'll tell ya what - after seeing Los Angeles, and this
a-here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen
somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd see in any of
those other places. And in English, too. So I can die with
a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord
gypped me. Now this a-here story I'm about to unfold took
place back in the early '90s - just about the time of our
conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it
because sometimes there's a man - I won't say a hero, 'cause,
what's a hero? But sometimes, there's a man - and I'm talkin'
about the 'Dude' here. Sometimes, there's a man, well,
he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there.
And that's the 'Dude' in Los Angeles. And even if he's
a lazy man - and the 'Dude' was most certainly that, quite
possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County, which would
place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. But
sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Wow,
I lost my train of thought here. But, aw, hell. I've done
introduced him enough.
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