You see, I never planned it like this. My
dumb dad got me this short wave radio set so I could just speak to my
friends back east, but I couldn't reach anybody, I thought I was talking
to nobody. I imagined that nobody was listening. Maybe I imagined one
person out there, anyway one day I woke up and I realized I was never
going to be normal and so I said f#@k it, I said so be it and Happy Harry
Hard-on was born. I never meant to hurt anyone, honestly I never meant to
hurt anyone. I'm sorry, Malcolm. I never said "Don't do it" I'm sorry.
Um...anyway I'm done, stick a fork in me, it's been grand. This is Happy
Harry Hard-on saying syionara, over and out.
You hear about some kid who did something stupid, something desperate.
What possessed him. How could he do such a terrible thing? It's really
quite simple actually. Consider the life of a teenager. You have parents,
teachers telling you what to do. You have movies, magazines, and TV telling
you what to do. But you know what you have to do. Your job, your purpose,
is to get accepted, get a cute girlfriend, and think up something great
to do with the rest of your life. What if you're confused and can't imagine
a career? What if you're funny-looking and you can't get a girlfriend?
You see no one wants to hear it, but the terrible secret is that being
young is sometimes less fun than being dead.
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