OPERATOR

Neverland 911, what's the emergency? You are being kidnapped by pirates? Can you be more specific? Which pirate is kidnapping you? Well, if he's limping on a peg-leg then it's probably Long John Silver, but if he has a hook then it's probably Captain-oh- He's got a hook and a pegleg? Oh dear. Please hold. Neverland 911, what's the emergency? Being harassed by mermaids? How dreadful. Please hold. Neverland 911, how can I help you? Trapped in Skull Cave? The tide is coming in? Oh my! Please hold. Neverland 911, what's your problem? Your rowboat's falling apart? And you're being attacked by a tick-tocking crocodile? Oh you poor dear! Please hold. Neverland 911-Hey Thumbelina! How you doin' girl? He did?! Why, you need to dump that Tom Thumb. Uh-huh? Uh-huh? No, I'm not busy. You tell me all about it! The entire script is available for purchase and performance rights at Heuer Plays.