Lieutenant Michael Brennan
See, I -- I don't know what the fuck this guy's on, see...but he just sits there with that shit-eatin' grin on his face. Yeah. So fuck it. I figure I gotta straighten him out a little bit. So I says, "You got a right to remain silent...as long as you can stand the pain."
There's nothing. Not a fucking dent! Not a fucking dent. So, "Fuck it. I'll take him in back to print him." (He pretends to grab one of the cops listening). He pulls away from me. He's a big motherfucker. Her's 260, 270. He starts yelling, "You fuckin' harp this! You fucking harp that!" I said, "Now, hey, Mr. Calabrese, don't upset me now." I put his hand on the printer and he pulls his hand away. He says, "You can't print me, you cocksucker! I'm mean!" You know, boom! He throws the fuckin' ink pad at me. I'm standing there, and I'm looking at my new light blue jacket. And I mean, I got ink all over my fuckin' white shirt. He just ruined my fuckin' jacket, so now I'm seeing red. I'm pissed, right? Boom! I'm gonna get that motherfucker. So I grab him by the hair, and very quietly I says..."All right, you guinea cocksucker, you bought it." Pow! Threw the fucker out the window. Threw him right out the fucking window! He goes right through the wire mesh out the window. Now, you gotta remember, this guy's stoned, so he thinks he's gonna die. He thinks he's on the second floor, and he goes--(makes noise). Shits his pants. Yeah, shits his pants. Oh, he wasn't hurt too bad. It was the ground floor over at the 32. He had some cuts. That's about it. So now we gotta go get the guy, and he smells. So we bring him in the back. We're gonna take him in. I take him back in to print him, see...and I make him put his hand down in his pants...and get some of that...he's got some of that shit on his fingers. And I says, "Geez, Mr. Calabrese, we ain't got no more ink pads. You gotta use your own shit!" (Laughs) I just wore out Mr. fuckin' Calabrese....
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