Ramon
We never learn to know each other fully.
I am not a poet, but I understand Isabel's heart better than
you do. There was a time when I felt my Carmen's love grow cold,
as Isabel does yours. Her spirit was dreamy, ambitious, while
our life was prosaic indeed. I am a man so blind to idealities
that it seems to me a crime not only to dream, but to sleep,
unless the provision for the morrow is assured. My one thought
was to work--for the sake of my wife and my children, naturally;
but work, which bound me to them most closely, was, as it appeared,
that which pushed them farthest away. So I observed at first
a certain wistfulness, an impatience in Carmen, then coldness
and indifference, then ... then ... how can I tell? If I had
not been so sure of her honor, I might even have believed that
her heart was no longer mine. I sought to impose myself, my complaints
became violent and loud; I turned to threats, but the most that
I could achieve was submission, respect, the outward show of
love--love still absented itself and grew cold. So then, I waited;
I waited, working on as before, with the same purpose--my wife,
my children, and with the same love. I was hers, always hers!
Then, one day, as I sat over my books and accounts, I felt two
arms steal about my neck, which hugged me tight, and another
face pressed close to mine, looming up over the accounts, and
two tears fell upon the page and blotted the figures out, and
a voice said to me, and a soul quivered in that voice: "Ram=n,
how good you are! And how I love you!" It was love which
had returned again, love at last had understood--who knows after
how many wanderings? For the poetry of our lives today, which
are barren of swords and lances and princesses and troubadours
and Moors, consists in simple duty done and the tasks of every
day. Either you misjudge Isabel, or you misjudge yourself. When
love absents itself and grows cold, how detain it in its flight?
By threats, perhaps, by force? By murder and sudden death? When
the bird leaves the cage, how recall him as he flies? Either
you must shoot him, resolved that he will be yours or belong
to nobody, in which case you will surely recover him, but you
will recover him dead, or otherwise, if you prefer him as he
was, you have no recourse but to wait--to wait until the cage
shall seem sweeter in his eyes than the liberty which he has
enjoyed.
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