Alyssa Donahue

50 million women in the United States suffer from orgasmic dysfunction. 50 million. But tonight we are going to cut that number by 10. (Applause) Because tonight we are going to learn about the healing power of masturbation. The greatest source of energy known to womankind! Yes, yes, yes. I want you to write a name for your vagina. Anything you please. Satin Doll. Happy Hole. Betty. Christen her. Own her. It can be anything you choose, you know. All right, does everybody have a name? Let's see. What have you got there? Oh, that is splendid. But that could be a boy's name. Change it. Is everybody finished? Everybody? Every beautiful little body? All right, now, I want each to draw a picture of your vaginas. I am looking for a metaphorical representation. Yes? Yes? It can be anything you want but please let's make it artistic. Think Picasso. Think Van Gogh. Now, each of you will notice that you have a small hand mirror on your easels. I want you to discover your vaginas. Every glorious fold. Every beautiful nook and cranny. This is your power center. Liberate your labia. Value your valva. Claim your clitoris. Claim it!