Male Monologues - Monologues

I'm feeling good, about where we stand not with our cast, I think that the Elements--as Dr. Watson said to Sherlock--are coming together sir. I'm very excited about Ron and Sheila: the old standbys, the workhorses, I call them the Lunts of Blaine. Alan Pearl: interesting, how do these people? Where do they come from? Y'know, sure, I'd seen him around. It would have never occurred to me to walk up to the dentist and say, y'know are you interested in this? But I was shopping for my wife Bonnie. I buy most of her clothes

No, no, you made an accusation and you must allow me the opportunity to defend myself! Now, I'm not going to deny that I was aware of your beauty. But the point is, this has nothing to do with your beauty. As I got to know you, I began to realize that beauty was the least of your

He's supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German. Nobody ever believed he was real. Nobody ever knew him or saw anybody that ever worked directly for him. But to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze. You never knew; that was his power. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. One story the guys told me, the story I believe, was from his days in Turkey. There was a gang of Hungarians that wanted their own mob. They realized that to be in power, you

I was up on this robbery bit, with a public defender. I was looking at my first long stretch. Outta nowhere this uptown lawyer comes to see me, says he can get me off. Says he'll do it for free. I just gotta do a favor in return. And he tells me about this teacher who's molesting his

I met Sammy through work. Insurance. I was an investigator. I'd investigate the claims to see which ones were phony. I had to see through people's bullsh!t. It was useful experience 'cause now it's my life. When i meet someone, I don't know if I've met them before. I have to just look in their eyes and try and figure them out. My job taught me the best way to find out what someone else knew was just to let them talk and watch the eyes and the body language.

Memory's unreliable. No no no, really. Memory's not perfect; it's not even that good. Ask the police. Eyewitness testimony is unreliable. Cops don't catch a killer by sitting around remembering stuff. They collect facts, they make notes, and they draw conclusions. Facts, not memories. That's how you investigate. I know. It's what I used to do. Look, memory can change the shape of a room; it can change the color of a car. And memories can be distorted. They're just an interpretation, they're not a record, and they're irrelevant if

You are not your job. You are not how much you have in the bank. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your khakis. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. What happens first is you can't sleep. What happens then is there's a gun in your mouth. And what happens next is you meet Tyler Durden. Let me tell you about Tyler. He had

Uh, that's a word we made up back home for people who make foolish designs on paper when they're thinking: it's called doodling. Almost everybody's a doodler; did you ever see a scratchpad in a telephone booth? People draw the most idiotic pictures when they're thinking. Uh, Dr. von Hallor here could probably think up a long name

NO! Bleed me! You're just going to kill me anyway, aye? The problem with you two, it's all numbers. One thousand pounds, ten thousand dead, THIRTEEN SKELETONS! And it's easy! Because numbers aren't people. Numbers don't think for themselves!! They don't...go out for a pint at the lodge, they don' throw potatoes through people's windows,

What do you mean it's touchy? Look gentlemen, I know this is a bad time. It's not fun for you. It's certainly not fun for Beth or me.or Charles. I know you're doing your best. I have to believe that. That's our only hope. But you have all the machinery on your side. Don't you see? You have

When I was a kid a bunch of us would go into the woods with our peashooters. Nothing fancy just enough to kill a bird or a squirrel may be something larger if we was lucky. Killed my first man in them woods. Held the paper on our farm and after my pa died he'd come around to get payment from my mom in any way he could...weren't much older than Button when I shot him in the throat. Knew there'd be more killing so I run off and joined

Come to Los Angeles. The sun shines bright. The beach is white and inviting and the orange groves stretch as far as the eye can see. There are jobs aplenty and land is cheap. Every working man can have his own house and inside every house and happy all-American family. You can have all this and who knows? You could even be discovered...become a movie star...or at least see one...Life is good in Los Angeles. It's paradise on earth...."

My desert island, all-time top five most memorable breakups, in chronological order are as follows: Alison Ashmore, Penny Hardwick, Jackie Alden, Charlie Nicholson, and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name on that list, Laura? Maybe you'd sneak into the top ten. But there's just no room for you in the

Top five things I miss about Laura. One; sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she's got one of the best all time laughs in the history of all time laughs, she laughs with her entire body. Two; she's got character. Or at least she had character before the Ian nightmare. She's loyal and honest, and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. That's character. Three; I miss her smell, and the

You may go if you wish, but remember this: walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations, leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled digitally sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo songs of violence laden gangsta' rap, acid pop and simpering, ciphering, soulless slush. Depart now and you forever separate yourselves from the vital American legacies of Robert Johnson, Muddy Waters, Willie Dickson, Jimmy Reede, Memphis Slim, Blind Boy Fuller, Louie Jordan, Little Walter, Big Walter, Sunny Boy Williamson I and II, Otis Redding, Jackie Wilson, Elvis Presley, Leiber and Stoller, and Robert

There must be something wrong with us, to do what we did. ... .... We heard there was $10,000 in that house. Once we tied up everybody and searched all over, I knew the guy that told us about it was wrong. There was no money. Dick wouldn't believe it so he went tearing through the house, banging

You're a Lemon. Like a bad car there is something, there is something inherently defective and you, and you, and you, and me, and all of us. We're all Lemons. We look like everyone else, but what makes us difference is our defect. See, most gamblers, when they go to gamble, they go to win. When we go to gamble, we go to lose. Subconsciously. Me, I never feel better than when they're raking the chips away; not bringing them in. And everyone here knows what I'm talking about. Hell,

Some of the guys are puttin' me over the jumps 'cause I don't want to fight...yeah, on the boxing team. I don't want to box. I don't even want to think about it...see, I used to fight, middleweight. And I was pretty good and they know it...I used to work out with this guy Dixie Wells. He's a real good friend of mine. Loved to box. People on the outside had their eye on him. He was gonna come out of the Army and go right up to the top.

Can't believe you did it! I was teasing. I loved you! Sure, I was coming up here to kill you... First I was gonna try and get you back with my amazing petition. It's a shame you can't see what our fellow students really signed. Listen "We, students at Westerburg High will die. Today. Our buring bodies will be the ultimate protest to a society that degrades us. F#@k you all!" It's not very subtle, but neither is blowing up a whole school, now is it? Talk about your suicide

Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right

First of all, to understand what happened to Killer, you gotta understand who Killer the dog WAS. Now Killer was born to a three-legged b!*ch mother. And he was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that, he's adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz. He's a small-time gunrunner and, uh, rottweiler fight promoter. So he puts

Hey, what's up everybody? I'm Thurgood Jenkins. You know, it's funny but I can trace every path in my life, to one childhood memory. My last clear memory really. You see, it was the summer before my 9th grade year. It was me, Kenny, Brian, Scarface and of course, lovable old' James. Oh wait hold on wait a minute, old' James wasn't there. Hell, I don't even know anybody named old' James, shoot. I don't remember graduating or my first sexual experience, I don't remember that either. But man, I

Aww, you motherf#@kers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you b!*ches! Huh. You think you can do this sh!t...Jake! You think you can do this to me?! You motherf#@kers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you! SHU program, nigga. 23 hour lockdown! I'm the man up in this piece! You'll never see the light of.....who the f#@k do you think you're f#@king with? I'm the police, I run sh!t around here. You just live here! Yeah, that's right, you better

Just keep saying it over and over again, Jack, like a mantra. Keep saying it. (they go outside together) You know, you fit the profile exactly -- in your 30's, house, kids, financial responsibilities. You start thinking, this isn't the life I dreamt about. Where's the romance, you know? Where's the joie de vivre? Suddenly every lingerie ad

We have a house in Jersey! We have two kids. Annie and Josh. Annie's not much of a violin player, but she tries real hard. She's a little precocious, but that's only because she says what's on her mind. And when she smiles -- ... And Josh, he has your eyes. He doesn't say much, but we know he's smart. He's always got his eyes open. You know, he's always watching us. Sometimes, you can look at him and you just know he's learning something new. It's like witnessing a

I am dying, Maximus. And when a man sees his end, he wants to know that there was some purpose to his life. How will the world speak my name in the years to come? The philosopher? The warrior? The tyrant? Or will I be the Emperor who gave Rome back her true self? You see -- there was a dream that was Rome. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish. And I fear it will not survive the winter. Let us whisper

Some of you are thinking you won't fight. And some will think you can't. They all think that. Until they're out there. Listen... Thrust this into another man's flesh and they applaud and love you. And you may even begin to love them back for that. Ultimately, we are all dead men. Sadly, we cannot change that. But we can decide how to end so we are remembered as men. After five years of scratching around in flea-infested villages we're finally

You wrote to me once, listing the four chief virtues. Wisdom, justice, fortitude, temperance. As I read the list, I knew I had none of them. But I have other virtues, Father. Ambition. That can be a virtue when it drives us to excel. Resourcefulness. Courage....perhaps not on the battlefield but there are many forms of courage. Devotion, to my family and to you. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then, it was as if you didn't want me for your son. I search the faces

You can come at this a few ways. First thing is we need the names of all front companies, limited partnerships, LLCs, and all that mess. Start with the nightclub which Barksdale owns. Look up Orlando's, by address, you match it, and you see it's owned by who?...D&B enterprises. Give it to Prez, who's going to get off his ass and walk on over to the state office buildings on Preston Street. Corporate charter office. They have the paperwork on every corporation and LLC.....

What, what are you talking about? Nah, nah, nah, nah, you mean that place downtown? I remember her. We needed to put some fear into that little lady, she wasnt going along with our tenant relocation program. Then her idiot boyfriend shows up and turns a simple sweep and clear into a total cluster f#@k. Who gives a sh!t? It's ancient history. What? What do you want? What is it? What? Speak to me! Speak! ...I know you. I know you, I knew, I knew you. I knew, I knew

Wrong. That's the perfect reason to quit. The only reason to quit. A man has an idea. The idea attracts others, like-minded. The idea expands. The idea becomes an institution. What was the idea? That's what's been bothering me, boys. I tell ya: when I used to think of the idea itself, it put a big ol' smile

Hahahahaaaa... Somebody there? Somebody... Who said that? Don't play innocent with me. You've known all along. Where are you? Follow the cold shiver running down your spine......I'm right here! I don't understand. Did you think it was coincidence. so many good things all happening for you. All for you, Norman! What do you want? TO say what you

Sorry boys, all the stitches in the world can't sew me together again. Lay down... lay down. Gonna stretch me out in Fernandez funeral home on hun and ninth street. Always knew I'd make a stop there, but a lot later than a whole gang of people thought. Last of the Mo-Ricans, well maybe not the last. Gail's gonna be a good mom. New improved Carlito Brigante. Hope she uses the money to get out. No room in this city for big hearts like us... Sorry baby, I tried the

Wake up little spider, wake up. No, you're not dead... yet... Just paralyzed... temporarily. You're an amazing creature, Spiderman, you and I are not so different. Well... to each his own. I chose my path, you chose the path of the hero and they found you amusing for a while, the people of this city. But the one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite of everything you've done for them, eventually they will hate you. Why bother? Here's

Who am I? You really want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale, that I was just a normal everyday guy, not a care in the world, somebody lied. But let me assure you, this story, like any story worth telling, is all about a girl. That girl. Mary-Jane Watson. The girl I loved since before I even liked girls. I wish I could say that was me next to her. Heck,

You were right -- and I was wrong. There! Did you ever think you'd hear me say that? Spectrally wrong. Instead of observing those animals, I tried to control them. I squandered an opportunity and we still know next to nothing about their lives. Thank God for Site B. Well? Didn't it all seem a trifle compact to you? Isla Nublar was just a showroom, Ian, something for the tourists, Site B was the factory floor. We built it first, on Isla Sorna, eight-some miles from Nublar. After the accident

I think she went to a bridge fully dressed and stood there breathing the warm night air. Then she took off her jacket and folded it neatly on the ground. And then she unbuttoned her blouse and then undid her brassiere and let it drop down on top of the other clothes. Then she unbuttoned her skirt and let it slip down over her hips. Then she'd unroll her stockings and hold them out so that they blow in the breeze like pennants before she let them float off into

All train compartments smell vaguely of sh!t. It gets so you don't mind it. That's the worst thing that I can confess. You know how long it took me to get there? A long time. When you die you're going to regret the things you don't do. You think you're queer? I'm going to tell you something: we're all queer. You think you're a thief? So what? You get befuddled by a middle-class morality? Get shut of it. Shut it out. You cheated on your wife? You did it, live with it. You f#@k little girls, so

To the contrary. I want you to tell the truth. The truth is, you can't tell me, to a certainty, that you saw the thing. You don't remember, a gun to your head, which glasses you have on. And you have a fertile imagination. Imagination wants to fill in the blanks. Now. IF you aren't sure, then they

You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is -- you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonights sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this months sales contest. As you all know, first

It's 5:40 am and in about one minute I'm going to watch the sun come up. I don't know if I've ever done that. Anyway, we're going to try to pick things up, and start over. It won't be easy but we're all together again. And I feel good. I'm not sure if this paper is what you wanted, if I hit the social significance or whatever you're looking for. But, for what it's worth, thanks a lot. So I guess this is

What? Come on, man. Don't look at me like that. You what that smells like, right? Don't tell me this smell don't remind you of a woman. God, I miss that smell, man. I mean, the job I had on the outside wasn't much better than this one, but at least I got to go home every night, and lie down next to that sweet smell, man. God, I miss that. You got a woman? Yeah, you got a woman, man. Let me give you some advice, all right?

Hello, Dad. Y'know, I remember a lifetime ago I was about three and a half feet tall, weighing only sixty pounds, but every inch your son. Those Saturday mornings, going to work with my dad and we'd pile into that big, green truck. I thought that truck was the... was the biggest truck in the universe, Pop. I remember how important the job we did was. How, if it weren't for us, people would freeze to death. I thought you were the strongest man in the world. Remember those home

I mean, the aborigines had their problems too. Sure, y'know, tigers in the trees, dogs after his food. And in the Middle Ages everybody really had to worry about witches and goblins. But we have this stuff eating at us. We've got stuff...we don't even...I mean why do you think that all the warlords of the world. They're

It's not that big a deal. That's the f#@kin' truth, alright? You make an adjustment Eddie. I mean, you shift your point of view a little and what was horrible, looks okay. All the necessary information that might deter you gets locked away, y'know. Little gremlins. They divert the good thoughts so you don't hear them. You just hear the bad thoughts, which at this point are convincing you they're a good idea. You get an idea, that's all. You don't understand the scope of it. You lose the scope.

You ever seen a city jail, nigger? You ever caught a body? I'm the one who just got home, remember? Eight months over on Eager Street with a body on me. You little motherfuckers need to ask around. Yo, out near the county, right, on the high end of the Eastside? They got these apartments out there, right? So there was this little shorty who used to stay out there. She was, like....I mean, I ain't seen a female that fine since. I gotta say, Shorty was right. This was

Sometimes the gods are uncooperative? This is a cooperative effort, a cooperative department. Why, in the Eastern District Lieutenant Daniels exemplified this new spirit just the other day. And because of that , we got fresh homicides in the black and a lot less bodies on the streets that could have been had that drug war been allowed to drag on. This is what we are talking about. Sacrifice for the greater good. But in the Western, what do I get from a veteran commander? You're just having a laugh,

Y'all don't understand, man. Y'all don't get it. You grow up in this shit. My grandfather was Butch Stamford. You know who Butch Stamford was in this town? All my people, man, my father, my uncles, my cousins...it's just what we do. You just live with this shit til you cannot breathe no more...."

I'm Major Colvin. I apologize for giving you the wrong impression tonight. We mean no disrespect. I know what's going on in your neighborhoods. I see it every day. Ma'am, it pains me that you cannot enter your own front door in safety and with dignity. The truth is..I can't promise you it's gonna get any better. We can't lock up the thousands out there on the corners. There'd be no place to put them even if we could. We show you charts and statistics like they mean something. But

Hey listen to me, you little fucking piece of shit! I'm gonna tell you one thing, and one thing only...about the Western boys you are playing with! We do not lose! And we do not forget! And we do not give up! Ever! So I'm only going to say this one time. If you march your ass out here right now and put the bracelets on we will not kick the living shit out of you! But if you make us go into them weeds for you or if you

Regarding officer Dozerman. His condition has been upgraded to "guarded". I'm told he can't receive visits and he's been moved to Recovery Unit. As of this tour all hand to hand undercover buys of CDS are suspended in the Western District. (Puts a paper bag containing a beer on the pedestal) Somewheres back in the dawn of time this district had itself a civic dilemma of epic proportion. The city council had just passed a law that forbid alcoholic consumption in public places, on the streets, and on the corners.

Here's my theory on this. When I was institutionalized, my brain was exhausted laid by the guys of mental health. I was interrogated. I was x-rayed. I was examined thoroughly. then they took everything about me and put it into a computer where they created a model of my mind. Yes! Using that model, they managed to generate

Stand easy men. Make no mistake about it gentlemen. We are now in harm's way. For Major Baxter and I, this is the last campaign in a career dating back to Tet '68. Likewise for Captain Hendrix and Gunnery Sergeant Crisp who cut their teeth under my command in Desert Storm. Captain Frye, Captain Darrow, this is my first operational situation with you and your men, and I have to say thus far your conduct reflects your reputations. We have achieved our position through poise, precision, and audacity. To this we

Look, all I'm saying is, Amanda and I are connected. We have been ever sense the first day she came to school. It was October, freshman year. First day in history I had ever missed the bus. If I had arrived on time, I never would of seen her. But as it was, I was the first person

Mike Dexter is an asshole. For the past decade he has made a hobby of my pain. Witness exhibit A: My 8th grade science project. A working rain forest that Mike threw out of a third floor window. It rains here no more. Witness exhibit B: An eyepatch I wore for a month after Mike beaned me with a raisin in home EC. My parents took me to a 3D film festival. I saw no third dimension. And of course, how could I forget the pudding incident? I know no one else has. Well, gentlemen,

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mickey. Mickey who? Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mantle, Mickey Rourke, Mickey Finn, Mickey Dolenz, Mickey Knox. Guilty? You bet your ass. But I think Charles Manson said it best when he said -- "I'm not herrrre, man...I'm not here!" I don't blame Mickey or Mallory. I blame Ajax and Jack Frost and Frosted Flakes and Achy Breaky, Lyndon Johnson, Johnny Cash, Johnny Carson, Johnny Quest. I blame the Pope, and Pop-Tarts, the Popile Pocket Fisherman. Ahh! I blame Jif, and jazz and O.J. Simpson, JFK, RFK, FDR, FBI, CIA, STP, AFL, CIO, ABC, NBC,

Have you ever had a single moment's thought about my responsibilities? Have you ever thought for a single solitary moment about my responsibilities to my employers? Has it ever occurred to you that I have agreed to look after the Overlook Hotel until May the first? Does it matter to you at all that the owners have placed

Listen to me, you little grunge faggot. I survived my family, my schoolyard, every Republican, every other Democrat, Anita Bryant, the Pope, the f#@king Christian Coalition, not to mention a real son of a b!*ch of a virus, in case you haven't noticed, and in all that time since Paul Lynde and Truman Capote were the only fairies

Give me a couple minutes of your time. I've got a few things I'd like to talk to you about. You know, uh what you did wasn't really your fault. It's what they call a genetic defect. Mom calls it the gene. My grandfather had the gene. He came over on the boat from Ireland in 1912. And

Anybody here? Hey old man, you home tonight? Can spare a minute, it's about time we had a little talk. I know I'm a pretty evil fellow; killed people in the war an'..got drunk and...chewed up municipal property and the like, I know I got no call to ask for much, but even so, you gotta admit you

Everybody stop. I didn't go to the Lakers because they were playing the fucking Bobcats....and I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn how to communicate. How to answer a question without a question. Basic humanity 101. Which I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix. Or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that could either fix it or make her a mute...But now to turn around and gang up on me? I have

Okay, yes! If I could gouge out Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And Lloyd, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog, and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and allow the entire Screen Actors Guild to anally rape

Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie... He goes to her house, all right?

Enough!! That's enough now, from all of you!! (gathers himself) You think water's fast? You should see ice. It moves like it has a mind. Like it knows it killed the world once--it got a taste for murder…

You never figured on this, did you? Live the life, lead the life. Ain't no big thing. He used to talk that shit all the time and he believed it, you know what I'm saying? What's up, baby, talk that shit now. (to D'Angelo) He scare you, don't he? He scares me. Yeah. See, if he dead, you know, I could carry it better. Coming up the way we did, you kind of expect that. Waiting on it. See, the thing is, you only got to fuck up once. Be

You'll dress only in attire specially sanctioned by MiB special services. You'll conform to the identity we give you, eat where we tell you, live where we tell you. From now on you'll have no identifying marks of any kind. You'll not stand out in any way. Your entire image is crafted to leave no lasting memory with anyone you encounter. You're a rumor, recognizable only as deja vu and dismissed just as quickly. You don't exist; you were never even born. Anonymity is your name. Silence your native tongue. You're no longer part of the System. You're

In about four hours the dharma folks at the Swam work site....they're gonna--gonna--drill into the ground and accidentally tap into a massive pocket of energy. The result of the release of his energy, will be catastrophic. So in order to contain it they are gonna have to cement the entire area in, like Chernobyl... And this containment--the place they built over it...I believe you called it "The Hatch", "The Swan Hatch"? Because of this one accident these people are gonna spend the next 20 years keeping that energy at bay...by pressing

Shut up! She's a sweet person, okay? We were working late. We were putting away some videos in the porno section, and, you know, sh!t happens. Fifteen minutes. Paul, fifteen minutes! I'm leaving my legacy. Fifteen minutes, Paul! Damn! Anyway, the reason I'm here is to help you so that my death will not be in vain. That

Who the hell do you think you are judging me? What gives you the right? You ever worked on a farm, Michael? Eh? Make your livin'?...support your family? The government stole my father's water -- a stream running through our land. Said they were "appropriating" it for other uses. We couldn't grow crops, we couldn't raise cattle. We

And uh, they just kept a-passing me up. Third grade, fourth grade and... I just sit in the back, and just stickin' to my own self. And it was like no one noticed. I go on all the ways through and I graduated elementary school. And they sent me to Ben Franklin. That's general studies. Heh, they could've

I told you I was telling the truth Daddy. I'm sorry I lied to you. But you lied too. You told me everyone was alike and deserved a fair break. But you meant everyone who was like you. You told me you wanted me to change the world, make it better. But you meant by becoming a lawyer or an economist and marrying someone from Harvard. I'm not proud of myself, but I'm in this family too and you can't keep giving me the silent treatment. There are a lot of things about

I'm not talking celebrity, vanity, CBS. I'm talking about when you're nearer the end of your life than the beginning. Now, what do you think you think about then? The future? In the future I'm going to do this? Become that? What future? No. What you think is "How will I be regarded in the end?" After I'm

You died on a Saturday morning, and I had you placed here, under our tree. And I had that house of your father's bulldozed to the ground. Mama always said dying was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't. Little Forrest, he's doing just fine. 'Bout to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth everyday. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He's really good. We fish a lot. And everynight

I've wanted to tell you for awhile now. I wanted to say it as you reached for a tea cup in your kitchen that night after we fought about why do we always have to eat Chinese food on your floor and then made up. I wanted to say it as the moonlight shone in on you as you slept in your bed the first time we made love there, when I felt your heart racing against my chest, in your sweet foyer in Spain when you first saw your roses even

Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was...he was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors, and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of southern California from La Holla to Leo Carillo, and up to Pismo. He died.. he died as so many young men of his generation before his time, and in your wisdom, Lord, you took him. Just as you took so many bright, flowering young men at Khe San, and Lan Doc, and Hill 364. These young

You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cottonhouse, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed

George, now that's just what I like so much about you. George, I'm an old man, and most people hate me. But I don't like them either, so that makes it all even. You know just as well as I do that I run practically everything in this town but the Bailey Building and Loan. You know, also,

Just a minute, just a minute. Now, hold on, Mr. Potter. You're right when you say my father was no business man. I know that. Why he ever started this cheap, penny-ante Building and Loan, I'll never know. But neither you nor anybody else can say anything against his character, because his whole life was......Why, in the twenty-five

Hold your ground, hold your ground. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day. This day we fight! For all that you hold dear on this good Earth,

Master - master looks after us, master wouldn't hurt us! Master broke his promise! Don't ask Smeagol! Poor, poor Smeagol! Master betrayed us! Wicked, tricksy, false! We ought to ring his filthy little neck! Kill him! Kill him! Kill them both! And then we take the precious, and we be the master! But the fat hobbit, he knows!

I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom, but -- I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a boyfriend; not an Italian. She went to the movies with him; she stayed out late. I didn't protest. Two months ago, he took

Johnny Fontane never gets that movie! That part is perfect for him, it'll make him a big star, and I'm gonna run him out of the business, and let me tell you why. Johnny Fontane ruined one of Woltz International's most valuable proteges. For five years we had her under training. Singing lessons, acting lessons, dancing lessons. I

Listen, my name is Harry Caul. Can you hear me? Don't be afraid. I know you don't know who I am, but I know you. There isn't much to say about myself. I - was very sick when I was a boy. I was paralyzed in my left arm and my left leg and couldn't walk for six

They want to have a meeting with me, right? It will be me, McCluskey, and Sollozzo. Let's set the meeting. Get our informers to find out where it's going to be held. Now we insist it's a public place--a bar, a restaurant. Someplace where there's people so I feel safe. They're gonna search me when I first meet them, right? So I can't have a weapon on me then. But if Clemenza can figure a way to have a weapon planted there for me, then I'll kill them both.

I've seen the horror. Horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that, but you have no right to judge me . It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and

Kay, what do you want from me? Do you expect me to let you go? Do you expect me to let you take my children from me? Don't you know me? Don't you know that that's an impossibility? That that could never happen? That I'd use all my power to keep something like that from happening? Don't you

There was a kid I grew up with, he was younger than me. Sort of looked up with me, you know. We did our first work together, worked our way out of the street. Things were good, we made the most of it. During Prohibition we ran molasses into Canada, made a fortune, your father too. As much

And how you pissed yourself like a frightened little girl. Yes, we'll talk, that's a given. But, Percy, mind me now. We'll also see you beaten within an inch of your life. We know people, too, are you so foolish you don't realize that? People with friends and loved ones doing time in this prison. People who'd be

And that's how it came to pass, that on the second-to-last day of the job, the convict crew that tarred the plate factory roof in the spring of '49 wound up sitting in a row at ten o'clock in the morning, drinking icy cold Bohemia style beer, courtesy of the hardest screw that ever walked a turn at Shawshank State Prison...The colossal prick even managed to sound magnanimous. We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses.

Dear Fellas. I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called the Brewer, and a job bagging groceries at the Food-Way. It's hard work. I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work I go to the

Did you, John? I dreamed he got down to that place Boss Howell talked about, that Mouseville place. I dreamed there was kids, and how they laughed at his tricks! My! I dreamed those two little blonde-headed girls were there. They 'us laughing, too. I put my arms around 'em and sat 'em on my knees, and

I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't wanna know. Some things are best left unsaid. I like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for

Rehabilitated? Well, now, let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means ... I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it's just a made-up word. A politician's word, sonny. Young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really want to know?

Sometimes it makes me sad though, Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the the place you live in is that much more drab and empty now they are gone. I guess I just miss my friend. Forty years I've been asking permission to

We had us a dog. No particular breed, but gentle. Ready to lick your hand or fetch a stick. Just a sweet mongrel, you know the kind. In many way, a good mongrel dog is like your negro. You get to know it, and often you get to love it. It is of no particular use, but you keep

You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin' and worryin', I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I'm tired, boss. Tired of bein' on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever

Being of sound mind and body, and all that sh!t...To my darling wife Leon whom I love as no other man has loved another man in all eternity, I leave $2,700 from my $10,000 life insurance policy, to be used for your sex change operation. If there is money left over it is to go to you on the first anniversary of my death, at my grave. I expect you to be a real woman then, and your life full of happiness and joy. To my sweet wife, Heidi, five

It's okay, Dad. Just listen for a sec. I know you miss her. I mean,you told me you did...but maybe it's not just the cooking or the cleaning...that you miss.Maybe it's something else. Maybe you can't even describe it. Maybe you only know it when it's gone. Maybe it's like there's a whole piece of you....that's missing too.

Thanks for coming on such short notice. I'd like to begin with an announcement that may come as a surprise to many of you, I've asked Bob Alexander to resign as White House Chief of Staff. Over the last few months Bob and I have come to believe in different things. He thinks this country is fine and

You almost had me? You never had me! You never had your car! Granny shiftin', not double clutchin' like you should. You're lucky that hundred shot of NOS didnt blow the welds on the intake. Almost had me? Now me and the mad scientist gotta rip apart the block, and replace the piston rings you fried! Ask any

We'll see, kid. We'll see what they can do and we'll see what we can do. So the red queen is our baby. Well, take a look at this, kid... 52 of them! Take a good look at 'em, Raymond, look at 'em, and while you're looking, listen. This is me, Marco, talking. 52 red queens and me

.....Well, that's funny because two of my ranchers rode to the other side of Pussyfoot this morning. Only one come back. Told me he got into a bit of a fracus with six strangers. One of them was a kid. Four were dressed like you. Number six was Patrick O'Flynn. (Laughs) Well, I'm sure the old bastard filled your head with all sorts of bad thoughts about me an mine. Haa, I was born a Muldoon. (Points at some pictures on the wall). At school, the teacher was a Muldoon.

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to eachother, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And

Christmas Eve-- 12 years ago. She was on her way to the mall. I was supposed to have gone with her. We hadn't started our Christmas Shopping yet. But it was gonna be simple. Just some stuff for our parents. Money was tight and shopping was a hassle anyway. We even promised not to give each other gifts. On the way, there was a car that had broken down, so Mallory pulled over to

From the moment I met you, all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you. And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you...I can't breathe! I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never

Friends...how we happened to come to America is a great story, but I no tell that. When we first started out we gotta no idea you would give us this grand reception. We don't deserve it. And when I say we don't deserve it, believe me I know what I'm talking about. So now I tell you how

Ladies and gentlemen...I guess that takes in most of you. This is the opening of a new opera season, season made possible by the generous checks of Mrs. Claypool. I'm sure the familiar strains of Verdi's music will come back to you tonight, and Mrs Claypool's checks will probably come back in the morning. Tonight marks the American

I'm sorry, Ethan. I don't know if you can hear me but this is my last day so -- (sighs, trails off) I put Dacks up on charges. Still might be able to get you that hearing if you would just speak. If you would just come back. Okay, Ethan. You asked me a question once. "What has you all tied up in knots when you wake up sweating in the middle of the night?" You still wanna know? I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about it

So who's in control, huh? Are you? Am I? The guards outside? The warden in his office? Yeah? Who's in control? (picks up the cassette recorder) Testing, testing, testing, 1, 2, 3, 4. Dr. Ethan Powell interviewing Dr. Theo Caulder. Now, this will be a very simple test, pass or fail, life or death. Now you write on

All that city. You just couldn't see the end to it. The end? Please? You please just show me where it ends? It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too, in my overcoat. I cut quite a figure. And I was getting off. Guaranteed. There was no problem. It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max. It was what I didn't see. You understand that? What I didn't see. In all that sprawling city there was everything except an end. There was no end.

You like my new S-55, Willard? My new car. My new Mercedes. I saw you drooling over it. Do you know why I have that car? I'm driving that 350 horse power, V-8 masterpiece for you and your fellow employees. Y'see, buyers feel a sense of security when they can see proof that they're dealing with a successful

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chuwawas .

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is

As for me... if you want to know what I think... I'll show you something...come with me...Come on...this way. I can explain everything. Come on - don't be shy. Mind the stairs...All right. I think this will help explain. Come along...Come along...Over here...Come on...Come on...This way...Come on...Stay by me, uh? Nearly there now. You see that? That's where I was born. You know, one day, when I was a little boy, my mother she took me on her knee and she said: 'Gaston, my son. The world is a

Anybody know what this place is? This is Gettysburg. This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we're still fighting amongst ourselves.....today. This green field right here was painted red, bubbling with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, man. 'I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family.' You listen and take a lesson from the dead.

Bunch of tough guys. You look like a bunch of fifth grade sissies after a cat fight. You got anger? Thats good, you going to need it. Son, you got aggression? Thats even better. You going to need that to. But any little two year old child can throw a fit. Football is about controlling that anger. Harnissing that aggression into a team effort to achieve perfection. Some coaches cut a player if they think he's not up to snuff, when they think he's hurting the team. This is a

I ain't draft dodging. I ain't burning no flag. I ain't running to Canada. I'm staying right here. You want to send me to jail? Fine, you go right ahead. I've been in jail for 400 years. I could be there for 4 or 5 more, but I ain't going no 10,000

But if I ever was to get in the ring with Joe, here's what you might see. Ali comes out to meet Frazier, but Frazier starts to retreat..

That wasn't it. ... ... I was sick, Cristina. Very sick. I was dying when Michael gave me his heart. He saved my life. ... I tried in every way that I knew how to find out who had given me this heart. And that's how I found out how he and your daughters had died. And it's

You can always tell where you are by the way the road looks. Like I just know that I been to this place before. I just know that I been stuck here like this one f#@kin' time before, you know that? There ain't no other road on earth that looks like this road. I mean, exactly like this road. One of a kind. Like someone's face. Like a f#@ked up face... Once you see it, even for a second, you remember it, and you better not forget it, you gotta

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human f#@king beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian sh!t!

Your always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. [Sol asks a question] Brick Top: Then when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because there's no good in leaving it in a deep freeze for your

Okay. I'll take a raincheck. I always have plenty of mineral water and other nutritious health foods, but you know that. Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a party for all my clients. It's gonna be my fourth anniversary as an accountant. I know you fill out your own tax return, but I'd like you to come being

We are gathered here today to pay final respects to our honored dead. But it should be noted that this death takes place in the shadow of new life, the sunrise of a new world; a world that our beloved comrade gave his life to protect and nourish. He did not feel this sacrifice a vain or empty

My parents got divorced when I was 5 years old, and I saw my father about 3 times a year after that. And when he found out that he had cancer he decided to bring me here and gives me this big pink seashell and says to me "Son, the answers are inside of this" and I'm all like

Gentlemen, I shall be brief, but I would like to use my remaining time with you to remind you that the case of Mayella Ewell vs. Tom Robinson is not a difficult one. To begin with, this case should have never come to trial. The state of Alabama has not produced one iota of medical evidence that shows that the crime Tom Robinson is charged with ever took place. This case is as simple as black and white. It requires no minute sifting of complicated facts, but it does require you to be sure beyond

On November 1st, 1959, the population of New York City was 8,042,783. If you laid all these people end to end, figuring an average height of five feet six and a half inches, they would reach from Times Square to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan. I know facts like this because I work for an insurance company -

It's been six days... and we're all still waiting. Waiting for somebody to come. And what if they don't. (Pause) We have to stop waiting. We have to start figuring things out. A woman died this morning just going for a swim. He tried to save her and now you want to crucify him? We can't do this! Everyman for himself is not going to work!....."

Well, fear is sort of an off thing...when I was in residency my first solo procedure was a spinal surgery on a 16 year old girl kid. A girl. And at the end, after 13 hours, I was closing her up and I...I accidentally ripped her dural sack. It's at the base of the spine where all the nerves come together. Membrane as thin as tissue, and...So it ripped open. Nerves just spilled out of her like angel hair pasta, spinal fluid flowing out of her and I...the terror was

Ah, little lad, you're staring at my fingers. Would you like me to tell you the little story of right-hand/left-hand? The story of good and evil? H-A-T-E! It was with this left hand that old brother Cain struck the blow that laid his brother low. L-O-V-E! You see these fingers, dear hearts? These fingers has veins that run straight to the soul of man. The right hand, friends, the hand of love. Now watch, and I'll show you the story of life. [Here, he interlocks his two hands] Those fingers, dear hearts, is

Well, Miss, 'ere we are, everything ship-shape, like they say. Great thing to 'ave, a lyedy, with clean 'abits. Sets me a good example. A man alone, 'e gets to livin' like a bloomin' og. Then, too, with me, it's always -- put things orf. Never do todye wot ya can put orf til tomorrer. But you: business afore pleasure, every time. Do yer pers'nal laundry, make yerself spic an' span, get all the mendin' out o' the way, an' then, an ' hone-ly then, set down to

My life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. Henry Fitz-Empress, first Plantagenet, a king at twenty-one, the ablest soldier of an able time. He led men well, he cared for justice when he could and ruled, for thirty years, a state as great as Charlemagne's. He married out of love, a woman out of legend. Not in Rome, or Alexandria, or Camelot has there been such a queen. She bore him many children. But no sons. King Henry had no sons. He had three whiskered things

I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence", and in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food, and

Never, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think

When I was a kid, my family died in a crash. My mother told us to buckle up because things were going to get bumpy...so I did. I looked at her, and she smiled. And then like this, boom, the plane was going down. My dad was next to the pilot and he told us not to worry. But hey, even at five, I knew we had trouble because the pilot was crying. So I looked at my sister. She was like "Oh man, we're getting close." So I

Whoa, time out. I just wanna ask you real quick, if I can. You believe in rebellion, freedom, and love, right. You two are divorced, so love failed. Two, Mom, you're clinging to any kinda scrap of Eastern religion that can justify why the above said love failed. Three, Dad, you're a slick, corporate,

Do you know what's kept me alive all these years? Monk does. Fear. The spectacle of fearsome acts. Someone steals from me, I cut off his hands. He offends me, I cut out his tongue. He rises against me, I cut off his head, and stick it on a pike. Hold it high in the streets so all

I got 44 notches on my club. Do you know what they are for? To remind me what I owe God when I die. My father was killed in battle, too-- in Ireland, in the streets....(sighs) fighting those who would take as their privilege what could only be got and held by the decimation of a race....."

In the end, they put candles on the bodies, so's their friends -- if they had any -- could know them in the dark. The city did this free of charge. Shang, Jimmy Spoils, Hell-Cat, McGloin, and more. Friend or foe it didn't make no difference now. It was four days and nights before the worst of the mob was finally put down. We never knew how many New Yorkers died that week before the city was finally delivered. My father once told me we was all born of blood

No, I don't never sleep too much. I have to sleep with one eye open, and I only got one eye, right?.... I'm forty-seven. Forty-seven years old. You know how I stayed alive this long? All these years? Fear. The spectacle of fearsome acts. Somebody steals from me, I cut off his hands. He offends me, I cut out his tongue. He rises against me, I cut off his head, stick it on a pike, raise it high up so all on the streets can see. That's what preserves the

That's a sorry looking pelt...and it's been so nice and quiet for the last three months. Tell me, this charge, doesn't it sit uneasy with you?......(exhales neurotically and puts his hands together in prayer)....so when you say that your job is to "uphold the law", what in heaven's name are you talking about? You may have misgivings, but don't go believing that, Jack. That way lies damnation. Here's the thing...I don't give a tuppenny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shitsack. That's more or less the thing. And I

You get to know a lot butchering meat. We're made up of the same things - flesh and blood, tissue, organs. I love to work with pigs. The nearest thing in nature to the flesh of a man is the flesh of a pig...This is the liver. The kidneys. The heart. This is a wound -- the stomach will bleed and bleed. This is a kill. This is a kill. Main artery. This is a kill"

So, mio amico, I would ask who you are, but in view of your shredded clothes and the fact that the Château d'If is two miles away...what's the point? As for me, I am Luigi Vampa, a smuggler and a thief. My men and I have come to this island to bury alive one of our number who attempted to keep some stolen gold for himself instead of sharing it with his comrades. Interestingly enough, there are some of his more loyal friends who are insisting that I grant him

You see, I had the Audacity to beg the Count to allow me to give the birthday toast to Albert. I was so insistent and such as the graciousness of our host that he reluctantly gave up his fatherly right in order to accommodate a guest. Even one as boorish as myself. Young Albert has made for too much of the assistance I gave him in Rome. When I arrived in the catacombs I watched as the criminals who tied Albert to a wall and threatened to cut off his

Hang on that ok, we never talked about this did we. Well, I supposed to be meeting her for dinner and you know one of those romantic dinners for two. I was up to my eyeballs in work and I forgot about the whole thing. I guess she waited in the restaurant for an hour before she decided

Look around you, the flowers, and the trees, and the frogs, they're all part of the wheel. They're always changing, always growing, like you Winnie. Your life is never the same, you were once a child, now you're about to become a woman. Then one day you'll go out, like the flame of a candle. You'll make way for new life. That's a certainty. That's the natural way of things. Then there's us. What we Tucks have, you can't call it livin', we just are. We're like rocks stuck on

Brooke.,this whole thing has been really tough on me and I've tried to act like it hasn't been that tough on me, but the first Sunday after me and you broke up, it all kind of really hit me...."

Juan I was born in... in Queens. Me and my parents moved to Phoenix when I was a kid. I hated it. When I was 16, my father was killed in a car accident just outside of town. My mother, she'd been having these affairs, and my father knew. Anyway, she felt so guilty she decided to become a nun. So within three weeks of

By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it is true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are...glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect...because I am not limited by my eyesight. Women react to me in the way

Every woman is a mystery to be solved, but a woman hides nothing from a true lover. Her skin color can tell us how to proceed. A hue like the blush of a rose, pink and pale, and she must be coaxed to open her petals with a warmth like the sun. The pale and dappled skin of a redhead calls for the lust of a wave crashing to the shore so we may stir up what lies beneath her and bring up the foamy delight of love to the

I was born in... in Queens. Me and my parents moved to Phoenix when I was a kid. I hated it. When I was 16, my father was killed in a car accident just outside of town. My mother, she'd been having these affairs, and my father knew. Anyway, she felt so guilty she decided to become a nun. So within three weeks of my fathers death, she was in a convent somewhere in Mexico, and there I was. I had nowhere to go; I didn't know what to do.

I didn't promise anybody anything. What do I know about Hollywood anyway? Just the dreams I got from sitting through too many double-features. Then why did you leave the swamp in the first place? 'Cause some agent fella said I had talent. Hm. He probably says that to everybody. On the other hand, if you hadn't left the

It's the same old championships but I am a totally different person. And even though I am pretty sure I will be judged for who I was and not who I am I know I have to face this. Four events and four judges per event. That's sixteen judges ready to tell us just how badly we suck. Sixteen people ready to tell us just how perfect we're not. But here we are chasing perfection. The problem is, perfection doesn't exist. But just try telling that to the judges. It

You know, I think I understand what you're like now. You're very beautiful and you think men are only interested in you because you're beautiful, but you want them to be interested in you because you're you. The problem is, aside from all that beauty, you're not very interesting. You're rude, you're hostile, you're sullen, you're withdrawn. I

Okay, you know what...just take your scrubby little paws off my bag, okay? It's not like I got a bomb in here. It's not like I want to blow up the plane! I just want to stow my bag according to your safety regulations. Hey...hey, if you would just take a second, take the little sticks out of

I have so many sins to confess, Father. First thing, when I was about 12 or 13 years old, when boys become big men, well each his own physique, and you begin to feel that desire for ... how can I say it? For love. For sex. You feel the need for release, you understand, to relieve the desire to ... Anyway, I lived in the country, where there weren't many women, and though you're still a kid, inside you feel a man's feeling, and there was no way to relieve this feeling. So

Just hated it. Y'know, I rode it to the seams hoping to leapfrog out of there, but ... no good. No dice. And I'd come home, just in bad shape. Just pissed off. When I first started getting an ulcer. Just miserable. And I'd lie down in her lap... and she'd rub my head. Some nights, she'd sing

I shall impersonate a man. His name is Alonso Quijana, a country squire no longer young. Being retired, he has much time for books. He studies them from morn till night and often through the night and morn again, and all he reads oppresses him; fills him with indignation at man's murderous ways toward man. He ponders the problem of how to make better a world where evil brings profit and virtue none at all; where fraud and deceit are mingled with truth and sincerity. He broods and broods and broods and broods and finally his brains

He wasn't buying any of that Modern Man stuff, or the uncertainty stuff, or any of the mercy stuff either. No, he was going by the book, and the book said I got the chair... ... so here I am. At first I didn't know how I got here, I knew step by step of course, which is what I've told you, step by step; but I couldn't see any pattern... ...Now that I'm near the end, I'm glad that this men's magazine paid me to tell my story. Writing

Well, so I'm tending bar down there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday and this little guy's drinking and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kind of action?" And he says, "Woman action. What do I look like?" And I says, "Well

This room looks pretty secure. If we have to we can run in here and board up the doors. Won't be long until these things'll be back pounding their way in. They are afraid now. (Pause) They are afraid of fire I found out. There's a place down the road called Beetman's. Beetman's diner. Anyways, that's where I found that truck that I have out there. There is a radio on the truck. I jumped to listen to it....

You know a place back down the road called Beekman's? Beekman's Diner? Anyhow, that's where I found that truck I have out there. There's a radio in the truck. I jumped in to listen to it, when a big gasoline truck came screaming right across the road! There must've been ten, fifteen of those things chasing after it, grabbing and holding on. Now, I didn't see them at first. I could just see that the truck was moving in a funny way. Those things were catching up to it. Truck

Terrible for her, but think about me, young boy with that kind of power. Wasn't three weeks later that the crow came back to me in a dream and said, "Your daddy's gonna die." I didn't know what to do. I finally told my father. But he said, oh, not to worry, but I could see he was rattled.

Okay. One day, in the late mid-Eighties, I was in my early late-20's. I had just been dismissed from University after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock and roll, entitled "You Kant always get what you want." At twenty-six my academic career was over, I had never kissed a boy, and

I met him fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, uh, no conscience, no understanding and even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right and wrong. I met this six year old child with this blind, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes, the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply evil.

Wanda, do you have any idea what it's like being English? Being so correct all the time, being so stifled by this dread of, of doing the wrong thing, of saying to someone "Are you married?" and hearing "My wife left me this morning," or saying, uh, "Do you have children?" and being told they all burned to

The future has not been written. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. I wish I could believe that. My name is John Connor, they tried to murder me before I was born, when I was 13 they tried again. Machines from the future. Terminators. All my life my mother told me the storm was

The Red Sands Creek Reservation! 200 people butchered in the snow with their stomachs empty. My mother's people. You see, Murphy was under government contract to supply us with beef, but two winters ago, he sent only rotten meat. No corn, no flour, just rancid beef crawling with worms. A few of my men and I set out

The aura about this book of Salinger's which perhaps should be read by everyone but young men is this. It mirrors like afun house mirror and amplifies lie a distorted speaker one of the great tragedies our time, the death of the imagination, because what else is paralysis? The imagination has been so debassed that imagination, being imaginative rather than being the lynch pin of our existence now stands for a synonym for something outside ourselves. Like science fiction or some new use for tangerine slices on raw pork

Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f#@king big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage.

Now before I start there's just a couple of things you have to remember. Number one, you have to remain calm. Right? Number two, you have to show no fear because the sharks, you see, the sharks can sense that fear. Just as easily as they can sense blood. And so it went for me. Just as I

Relinquishing junk. Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress.

Dear Mr.Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it is that we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms and the most

Do you guys know what I did to get in here? I taped Larry Lester's buns together. Yeah, you know him? Well then, you know how hairy he is, right? Well, when they pulled the tape off, most of his hair came off and some skin too. And the bizarre thing is, is that I did it for my old man. I tortured this poor kid because I wanted him to think I was cool. He's always going off about, you know, when he was in school, all the

I think you're all f#@ked in the head. We're ten hours from the f#@kin' fun park and you want to bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f#@kin' fun

The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. A lot of people will tell you that a phony fever is a dead lock, but if you get a nervous mother, you could land in the doctor's office. That's worse than school. What you do is, you fake a stomach cramp,

Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f#@king Kaye!

You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room--and someone'll listen to your boring stories! Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue, like maybe this guy is not enjoying

Gold in Mexico? Why sure there is! Not ten days from here, by Rayo Catclavin is a mountain waitin' for the right guy to come along discover a treasure then tickle it if it lets him have. The question is, is he the right guy? Ah, real bonanzas are few and far between. They take a lot finding. Say, answer me this one will ya? Why is gold worth some twenty bucks an ounce? A thousand men, say, go searching for gold, after six months one of 'em's lucky. One out

When a man's partner's killed, he's supposed to do something about it. It doesn't make any difference what you thought of him, he was your partner, and you're supposed to do something about it. And it happens we're in the detective business. Well, when one of your organization gets killed, it's - it's bad business to let the

.....See, the thing is, I care very much about aviation. It has been the great joy of my life. That's why I put my own money into these planes. And I have lost millions, senator Brewster, and I'll go losing millions. It's just....what I do. Now, if I've lost a lot of the government's money during the war, I hope folks will put that into perspective. You see more than 60 other airplanes ordered from such firms as Lockheed, Douglas, Northrop and Boeing never saw action either. In all, more

A starship captain's life is filled with solemn duty. I have commanded men in battle. I have negotiated peace treaties between implacable enemies. I have represented the Federation in first contact with twenty-seven alien species. But none of this compares to my solemn duty as...best man. Now, I know that on an occasion such as this it is expected that I be gracious and fulsome

Good afternoon. Today a man from Germany invaded Greece. He's already swallowed Poland, Denmark, Norway, and Belgium. He's bombing London as I speak. Everywhere this man goes he crushes the life and the freedom of his subjects. He sews yellow stars on their lapels, he takes their voices. In this country, we still have our voices. We can argue with them, and we can sing, and we can be heard because we are, for the moment, free. No one can tell us what to say or how to say it,

I don't know what to say really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives, all comes down to today. Now either we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Inch by inch, play by play -- till we're finished. We're in hell right now gentleman...

I should say something. This life... "life," what a joke. This situation, this room. You look terrible, Mr. Waturi. You look like a bag of crap stuffed in a cheap suit. Not that anybody could look under these zombie lights. I can feel them sucking the juice out of my eyeballs, suck suck suck suck. 300 bucks a week. That's the news. For three hundred bucks

Don't you think I know that, Frank? Don't you think I am aware there is a woman here? I can smell her, like a flower, I can taste her like sugar on my tongue. When I'm twenty feet away, I can hear the fabric of her dress when she moves in her chair. Not that I've done anything

Everything seems like nothing to me now, I guess I don't want you in my bed. I don't care if I burn in hell; I don't care if you burn in hell. The past and the future is a joke to me now. I see that they are nothin, I see they ain't here. The only thing that's here is you and me. [Loretta complains] Ronny: No! Come upstairs...I don't care why you come. No, that's not what I mean. Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you

Well, of course neither do I, but, uh, but a warm bed and a roof sounds a might better than eating a hotdog on a stick with an old geezer that's traveling on a lawnmower. My daughter Rose is...some people call her a little bit slow but she's not. She's got a mind like a bear trap, for

S'up? Yo, cuz. I-I know why you got out of the car last night. You shouldn't have been there in the first place. You don't want that sh!t to come back to haunt you... I ain't been up this early in a long time. Turned on the TV this morning. Had this sh!t on about -- about livin' in a violent

All right, I'll say this: what this town owes Will Kane here can never be paid with money and don't ever forget it. He's the best marshall we ever had, may be the best marshall we'll ever have. So if Miller comes back here today, it's our problem not his. It's our problem because this is our town. We made it with our own hands out of nothing, and if we want to keep it decent, keep it growing we gotta think mighty clear here today. And we gotta have the courage to do what

She won't call because you left. She's got her own life to deal with man, and that's in New York. Alright? And she's a sweet girl, and I love her to pieces, but f#@k her, man, you've got to get on with your life. You've got to let go of the past, and Mikey, when ya do, I'm

So, you think this is just about the burgers, huh? Let me tell you, it's about far more than that. Our parents came to this country, escaping persecution, poverty and hunger. Hunger, Harold. They were very, very hungry. They wanted to live in a land that treated them as equals, a land filled with hamburger stands. And not just one type of hamburger, okay? Hundreds of types with different sizes, toppings, and condiments. That land was America! America, Harold! America! Now this is about achieving what our parents set out

I'd like to---I'd like to say something....that I prepared...tonight..(Alan takes out a piece of paper and reads)...Hello. How about that ride in? I guess that's why they call it Sin City. (He chuckles). You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So were there two---so there were two of

Why...are you doing this? Why? Isn't the universe big enough for both of us? What is wrong with you people? We could work together. Why be enemies? Becausewe're different? Is that why? Think of the things that we could do. Thank how strong we would be. Earth...and Mars...together. There is nothing that we could not accomplish.

I address you tonight, not as the President of the United States, not as the leader of the country, but as a citizen of humanity. We are faced with the very gravest of challenges. The bible calls this day 'Armageddon'. The end of all things. And yet, for the first time in the history of the planet, the

Eddie Barzoon! Eddie Barzoon! Ha! I nursed him through two divorces, a cocaine rehab, and a pregnant receptionist. God's creature, right? God's special creature? Ha! And I've warned him, Kevin, I've warned him every step of the way. Watching him bounce around like a f#@king game, like a wind-up toy! Like 250 pounds of self-serving greed on wheels!

"That man was not mad. He was working with shrapnel whistling around him because he couldn't wait. The contents of that notebook were too important were too important to write it down later. He had to do it when his mind dictated. He couldn't put it off a single second. What was so important that he would risk his life for it? What was he writing that stopped him from standing up and running like any other man would have done? The "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus". The most influential philosophical work of

No Ashton, I'm not really a god. I'm just like you. Just a bunch of electricity. It's all smoke and mirrors. Just like your world, Ashton. We're nothing but a simulation on a computer. It's like a machine. Like this arcade game over here. You've got your players... and you put your nickel in...this one pitches, this one

On the day when I left home to make my way in the world, my daddy took me to one side. 'Son,' my daddy says to me, 'I am sorry I am not able to bankroll you to a large start, but not having the necessary lettuce to get you rolling, instead I'm going to stake you to some very valuable advice. One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to show you a brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken. Then this guy is going to offer

I got the whole story, but not from Norman. I got it from his "mother". Norman Bates no longer exists. He only half-existed to begin with. And now the other half has taken over, probably for all time....

Category: Male Monologues