Female Monologues - Monologues

That thing, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you are supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment, you get this amazing gift, and you wanna laugh and you wanna cry. Because you feel so lucky that you found it, but so scared that it will go away all at the same time.

50 million women in the United States suffer from orgasmic dysfunction. 50 million. But tonight we are going to cut that number by 10. (Applause) Because tonight we are going to learn about the healing power of masturbation. The greatest source of energy known to womankind! Yes, yes, yes. I want you to write a name for your vagina. Anything you please. Satin Doll. Happy Hole. Betty. Christen her. Own her. It can be anything you choose, you know. All right, does everybody have a name? Let's see. What have

Not slighted are ye, powers august! through rage Curse not with hopeless blight the abode of man. I too on Zeus rely; why speak of that? And sole among the gods I know the key That opes the halls where sealÃ¨d thunder sleeps. But such we need not. Be appeased by me, Nor scatter o'er the land, from froward tongue, The harmful seed that turneth all to bane. Of bitter rage lull ye the murky wave; Be venerated here and dwell with me. Sharing the first fruits of this ample realm, For children offered, and for nuptial rite, This word of

Ye to the Argives should with sacrifice, As to Olympian gods, libations pour, My daughters! for deliverers they have proved, Beyond dispute. 'Gainst those assiduous friends, Your cousins, all that had been done they heard, Indignant, and forthwith, this body-guard, As mark of honour they assigned to me, Lest too, by secret spear-thrust slain, my death Should curse undying bring upon the land. Such favours reaping, justice bids us hold In higher honour still their kindly grace. These admonitions too ye shall inscribe With many prudent maxims of your sire, That Time this stranger company may test. Each 'gainst the alien bears an

Ever have nightly visions manifold Beset me, since, intent on ravaging Ionia's soil, my son led forth his power. But never saw I dream so manifest As that of yesternight;--I'll tell it thee;-- Methought two women came before my sight, Richly apparelled, this in Persian robes Was habited, and that in Dorian garb; In height above their sex pre-eminent, Faultless in beauty, sisters of one race. As Fatherland the one by lot had gained Hellas, the other the Barbaric land. Between these twain, for so methought I saw, Some feud arose, which learning, straight my son Strove to appease and soothe; he to his

I know not How fitly to refuse; and at your wish All ye desire to know I will in plain, Round terms set forth. And yet the telling of it Harrows my soul; this winter's tale of wrong, Of angry Gods and brute deformity, And how and why on me these horrors swooped. Always there were dreams visiting by night The woman's chambers where I slept; and they With flattering words admonished and cajoled me, Saying, "O lucky one, so long a maid? And what a match for thee if

My mistress bade me summon with all speed Ã†gisthos to the strangers, that he may More clearly learn, as man from man, this tale Newly announced. Before the menial train, She, at the tidings by these strangers brought, 'Neath mournful eyes a lurking smile hath veiled, Exulting in events joyous for her, But to this house with direst issue fraught;-- But he no doubt will in his soul rejoice, Hearing the tale. Alas! unhappy me! How did the ancient troubles, hard to bear, Whose blended horror darkened Atreus' house, With anguish pierce my heart! But ne'er before, Have I a sorrow like to

Oh, mistery, misery! Again comes on me The terrible labor of true prophecy, dizzying prelude. Do you see these who sit before the house, Children, like the shapes of dreams? Children who seem to have been killed by their kinsfolk, Filling their hands with meat, flesh of themselves, Guts and entrails, handfuls of lament - Clear what they hold - the same their father tasted. For this I declare someone is plotting vengeance - A lion? Lion but coward, that lurks in bed, Good watchdog truly against the lord's return- My lord, for I must bear the yoke of serfdom. A daring

Old men of Argos, lieges of our realm, Shame shall not bid me shrink lest ye should see The love I bear my lord. Such blushing fear Dies at the last from hearts of human kind. From mine own soul and from no alien lips, I know and will reveal the life I bore. Reluctant, through the lingering livelong years, The while my lord beleaguered Ilion's wall. First, that a wife sat sundered from her lord, In widowed solitude, was utter woe And woe, to hear how rumour's many tongues

Though much to suit the times before was said, It shames me not the opposite to speak: For, plotting against foes,--our seeming friends,-- How else contrive with Ruin's wily snare, Too high to overleap, to fence them round? To me, not mindless of an

Ye captive women, ye who tend this home, Since ye are present to escort with me These lustral rites, your counsel now I crave. How, while I pour these off'rings on the tomb, Speak friendly words? and how invoke my Sire? Shall I declare that from a loving wife To her dear lord I bear them? from my mother? My courage fails, now know I what to speak, Pouring libations on my father's tomb. Or shall I pray, as holy wont enjoins, That to the senders of these chaplets, he Requital may accord, ay! meed of ill. Or, with no mark of

What a pleasant occupation these dances are! Very good indeed! What could be more delightful? You go to the assembly, or to somebody's wedding, you sit down, naturally, all beflowered like a doll or a magazine picture. Suddenly up runs a gentleman: "May I have the happiness, miss?" Well, you see, if he's a man of wit, or a military individual, you accept, drop your eyes a little, and answer: "If you please, with pleasure!" Ah! [Warmly] Most fas-ci-nat-ing! Simply beyond understanding! [Sighs] I dislike most of all dancing with students and government office clerks. But it's the real

When he was born, I was ill a very long time. Then he was always sickly, and he grew up puny. How many tears have I shed over him! Sometimes I would just look at him, and my tears would flow; no, it will never be my lot to see him in the uniform of the guardsmen! But it was most distressing of all for me when his father, owing to the boy's poor health, was unable to send him to a military school. How much it cost me to renounce the thought that he might become

I shall go mad! I'll never entertain again--never--never--people ought to know whether they're coming or not--but they accept and regret and regret and accept--they drive me wild. This is my last dinner party--my very last--a fiasco--an utter fiasco! A haphazard crowd--hurried together--when

Adults are never honest. Let's be children. Let's throw rocks, let's weep and say everything we actually think. Why do you love him? He says you can't find a job right now. He says you're so pretty and so nice. Nice-- you're what every man wants a woman to be.

I have often found when you can't do anything else you can always sit on the road...

Men and lions, eagles and partridges, antlered deer, geese, spiders, the silent fishes dwelling in the water, star-fish and tiny creatures invisible to the eye--these and every form of life, ay, every form of life, have ended their melancholy round and become extinct. . . . Thousands of centuries have passed since this earth bore any living being on its bosom. All in vain does yon pale moon light her lamp. No longer do the cranes wake and cry in the meadows; the hum of the cockchafers is silent in the linden groves. All is cold,

Please don't go; I want you. At any rate it's gayer when you're here. [A pause] I keep expecting something to happen, as if the house were going to tumble down about our ears. We have been very, very sinful! Oh, the sins that I have committed . . . I've always squandered money at random like a madwoman; I married a man who made nothing but debts. My husband drank himself to death on champagne; he was a fearful drinker. Then for my sins I fell in love and went off with another man; and immediately--that

What can we do? We must live out our lives. [A pause] Yes, we shall live, Uncle Vanya. We shall live all through the endless procession of days ahead of us, and through the long evenings. We shall bear patiently the burdens that fate imposes on us. We shall work without rest for others, both now and when we are old. And when our final hour comes, we shall meet it humbly, and there beyond the grave, we shall say that we have known suffering and tears, that our life was bitter. And God will pity us.

[Deeply agitated] Why doesn't Leonfd come? Oh, if only I knew whether the property's sold or not! It seems such an impossible disaster, that I don't know what to think. . . . I'm bewildered . . . I shall burst out screaming, I shall do something idiotic. Save me, Peter; say something to me, say something. You can see what's truth and untruth, but I seem to have lost the power of vision; I see nothing. You settle every important question so boldly; but tell me, Peter, isn't that because you're young, because you have never solved any

I am beginning to think that fate has cheated me, Doctor. There are a great many people, perhaps no better than I, who are happy without having had to pay for their happiness. But I have paid for everything, absolutely everything! ... And so dearly! Why should I have had to pay such terribly high interest? ...My dear friend, you are always so considerate of me, so tactful, you are afraid to tell me the truth, but do you think I don't know what my illness is? I know perfectly well... Can

I'm telling you all this because you're a writer. You may be able to use it. I tell you honestly: if he had seriously wounded himself, I would not have gone on living another minute. But I have courage, all the same. I've made up my mind to tear this love out of my heart - tear it out by the roots. I'm going to get married. To Medvedenko... (Beat.) To love without hope... to spend whole years waiting for something... But when I marry, there'll be no more of that,

Why do you say you kiss the ground I walk on? I ought to be killed. I'm so tired, Kostya! If I could only rest... rest. I am the seagull... No, that's not it. I'm an actress! It doesn't matter. So he's here, too! It doesn't matter! He didn't believe in the theatre, he laughed at my dreams, and little by little, I stopped believing myself. I lost heart. And always the strains of love, jealousy, constant fear for the child...I became trivial, and commonplace, I acted without thinking or

You smoke? Go ahead if you want to, here's some matches. Beautiful day today, isn't it? And yesterday it was raining so hard the men in the hayfields couldn't do a thing. How many stacks have your people cut so far? You know what happened to me? I got so carried away I had them cut down the whole meadow, and now I'm sorry I did - the hay's going to rot. Oh my! Look at you! What've you got on those clothes for? Well, if you aren't something! You going to

If I have asked to speak, may the goddesses bear me witness, it was not for sake of ostentation. But I have long been pained to see us women insulted by this Euripides, this son of the green-stuff woman, who loads us with every kind of indignity. Has he not hit us enough, calumniated us sufficiently, wherever there are spectators, tragedians, and a chorus? Does; he not style us adulterous, lecherous, bibulous, treacherous, and garrulous? Does he not repeat that we are all vice, that we are the curse of

My country is as dear to me as it is to you, and I groan, I am grieved at all that is happening in it. Scarcely one in ten of those who rule it is honest, and all the others are bad. If you appoint fresh chiefs, they will do still worse. It is hard to correct your peevish humour; you fear those who love you and throw yourselves at the feet of those who betray you. There was a time when we had no assemblies, and then we all

Nay, never play the brave man, else when you go back home, your own mother won't know you. But, dear friends and allies, first let us lay our burdens down; then, citizens all, hear what I have to say. I have useful counsel to give our city, which deserves it well at

I never knew it before. I never knew anything before. When she come into the court I say to myself, I must not accuse this woman, for she sleeps in ditches, and so very old and poor. But then- then she sit there, denying and denying, and I feel a misty coldness climbin' up my back, and the skin on my skull begin to creep, and I feel a clamp around my neck and I cannot breathe air; and then (entranced) I hear a voice, a screamin' voice, and it

No, no, Hal! Listen! Oh, listen! Hal -- Hal, when the grave closed over thee, I did indeed believe that I was done with love forever, and that my heart was but a dry and withered plant; but, oh, there are seasons when it will persist in putting forth green shoots, and when I find strange hopes and joys quickening within me that are unbefitting a woman that is devoted to the memory of her dead husband! Alas, Harry, 'twas at such a time that Mr. Fane came upon me! Though 'twas in January that he alighted at

He may come, and we can go--from everything! -- from all the old furniture which father has been accumulating for us, and which I have seen ever since I was a little child. One should not own anything that binds one to earth. Go out on the stony highways and wander with bleeding feet, for that way leads upwards, therefore it is difficult-- [Pause] Do you know what I find hardest to part with? It is the old clock over there. That was here when I was born, and it has measured my hours and my days.

Our acquaintance has been so queer. When I saw you for the first time I was afraid of you, so afraid that I didn't dare let you out of my sight; no matter when or where, I always found myself near you--I didn't dare have you for an enemy so I became your friend. But there was always discord when you came to our house, Because I saw that my husband couldn't endure you, and the whole thing seemed as awry to me as an ill-fitting gown--and I did all I could to make him friendly toward

We must go away, but we must talk first. That is, I must speak, for until now you have done all the talking. You have told me about your life--now I will tell you about mine, then we will know each other through and through before we start on our journey together. You see, my

I knew somethin' was up as soon's I see The nags and mules hitched round the court house square-- "They'll ride tonight," I says, and I was right. I'm sixty-two year old come next July And I been post-mistress for most of 'em Right

I said turn it off! Nobody laughs at me, because I laugh first. At me. Me from Seattle. Me with no education. Me with no talent, as you've kept reminding me my whole life! Well, Mama, look at me now. Look! Look where I live. Look at my friends. Look where I'm going. I'm not staying in burlesque, I'm moving. Maybe up maybe down. But wherever I'm going, I'm having the time of my life, because for the first time, it is my life! And I love it! I love

I thought you did it for me, mama. I thought you did it for me mama. I though you made a no talent ox into a star because you like doing things the hard way Mama. And you have no talent. Not what I call talent, Miss Gypsy Rose Lee! I made you...I made you! And you wanna know why? You wanna know what I did it for? 'Cause I was born too soon and started too late, that's why. What I got in me (begins to chuckle), I could

I've got something to say to Miss Sawyer. So, you're going to take my place. And you think you know how tough it must be for me? Do you really? I'm not so sure. Ever since I was a tiny little girl and saw my first Julian Marsh show I've dreamed of the day when I might work with the King of Broadway. And, my day had finally come, and I was filled with pride, joy and humility. Not to mention my happiness at a contract with a limousine, a

Jamie's parents are getting separated. It doesn't quite sink in at first, she's sort of in shock. She truly believes that her influence can change the situation. Once that fails she moves from one desperate attempt to the next trying to get her parents back together again, with her confidence and feelings losing footing each step of the

John, it come to naught that I should forgive you, if you'll not forgive yourself. It is not my soul, John, it is yours. (it is difficult to say, and she is on the verge of tears) Only be sure of this, for I know it now: Whatever you will do, it is a good man does it. I have read my heart this three month, John. (Pause) I have sins of my own to count. It needs a cold wife to prompt lechery. (Now pouring out her heart) Better

Men of our city, Argive elders here, I shame not in your presence to avow My wifely temper; bashful Fear in time From mortals dieth: not by others taught, But from myself, the wretched life I'll tell 'Twas mine to lead while this man was at Troy. First, for a woman severed from her mate, To sit forlorn at home is grievous woe, Hearing malignant murmurs manifold. One courier comes, another in his train Worse tidings brings to echo through the house; And as for wounds, had my dear lord

Mes amis - Thank you for sharing with me my last performance at The Comedie Francaise. And thank you to Citizen Chauvelin, who has so graciously allowed our theatre to remain open this spring. But now, I share with you my own storybook ending. Six weeks ago I met a tall and handsome "prince", and tonight he sweeps me away to England to be married. Sir Percival Blakeney! He is handsome, yes? Oh, I shall miss you all very much, but in my heart, how could I ever leave Paris?

Mother Gibbs, George and I have made that farm into just the best place you ever saw. We thought of you all the time. We wanted to show you the new barn and a great long cement drinking fountain for the stock. We bought that out of the money you left us. Don't you remember, Mother Gibbs - the legacy you left us? Why, it was over three hundred and fifty dollars. Well, there's a patent device on the drinking fountain so that it never overflows, mother Gibbs, and it

Mr. Cornell, Ah have tried to be neighborly, Ah have tried to be friendly, and Ah have tried to be cordial...Ah don't know what it is that you're tryin' to be. That first night Ah was appreciative that you carried mah trunk up the stairs...The fact that it slipped and fell five flights and smashed to pieces was not your fault...Ah didn't even mind that personal message you painted on the stairs. Ah thought it was crazy, but sorta sweet. However, things have now gone too far...Ah cannot accept

Mrs. Lynde, I'm extremely sorry I behaved so terribly. I've disgraced my good friends who've let me stay at Green Gables on trial, even though I'm not a boy. I am wicked and ungrateful, and I deserve to be cast out forever. What you said was true; I am skinny and ugly, and my hair is red. What I said about you was true too, only I shouldn't have said it. Please, Mrs. Lynde, forgive me. You wouldn't be so cruel as to inflict a life-long sorrow on a poor

My aunt died of influenza, so they said. But it's my belief they done the old woman in. Yes Lord love you! Why should she die of influenza when she come through diphtheria right enough the year before? Fairly blue with it she was. They all thought she was dead. But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. Then she come to so sudden that she bit the bowl off the spoon. Now, what would you call a woman with that strength in her have to die of

My God! I can't take any more of this - first you spurn me for Eddie, then you cast him off like an old overcoat for Rocky. You chew people up and spit them out - I loved you, do you hear me - I LOVED YOU - And what did it get me - I'll tell you - A big nothing. You're like a sponge. You take, take, take, take! You drain others of their love and emotions. Well, I've had enough. You've got to choose between me and

My sister, Veronica, and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row, one, two, three, four, five... Splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this one night before the show we are in a hotel Cicero, the three of us, sittin' up in a hotel room, boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I went out

Next time I enslave a whole nation, I must check out there intelligence first. Nikko, Nikko! Where is the commander of my aerobatic apes? There you are. I have an important task for you. My enemies are about to enter the Haunted Forest. I want you to rouse your men and snatch the sickening little girl and her equally nauseating little dog. Exhausted? What do you mean you're exhausted? Alright, alright. I'll conjure up a spell to take the fight out of her. Now which of my creepy crawlie creations

Now Linus, I want you to take a good look at Charlie Brown's face. Would you please hold still a minute, Charlie Brown, I want Linus to study your face. Now, this is what you call a Failure Face, Linus. Notice how it has failure written all over it. Study it carefully, Linus. You rarely see such a good example. Notice the deep lines, the dull, vacant look in the eyes. Yes, I would say this is one of the finest examples of a Failure Face that you're liable to

Oh Daaaaaaad!...Do we have to go to Grandma's house? I don't know what makes you think going to Grandma's house is so much fun, you get up early and polish the car like we're going someplace cool, like the beach..Is it just me, or does her house smell like an old antique store couch...Yuk! And besides that, I'm

Romeo, Romeo, Where the hell art thou? Have you stopped along the way To play at your stupid battle games? Or have you changed your mind, And decided not to come Thinking me too 'easy' and thus insincere: What perversion of thought is this? Because I say what it is I want, Direct and forthright, You judge my desire false? While the one who dallies, Says no to mean yes, You deem true and take her Seriously? Or perhaps you think to be 'easy' is to be unchaste: If so,

Say, ain't it my turn next? All right, I'm comin'. [Enters.] Here I be, sassy as a woodchuck and twicet as handsome. You know who I be, don't you? I'm little Sis Hopkins from Skinny-marink Crossroads down in Toadhunter Holler. [Leans over and speaks confidentially to the audience.] You know I'm the only one in this here show who's a real actress. The others is only ham-chewers, but I've had experience with a real show troupe. I led one of the bloodhounds in Uncle Tom's Cabin street pee-rade last time it played down in the Skinny-marink opery house. Them

So, the day after I turned 18, I kissed the folks goodbye, got on a Trailways bus - and headed for the big bad apple. Cause I wanted to be a Rockette. Oh, yeah, let's get one thing straight. See, I never heard about "The Red Shoes," I never saw "The Red Shoes," I didn't give a fuck about "The Red Shoes." I decided to be a Rockette because this girl in my home town - Louella Heiner - had actually gotten out and made it in New York. And

Stay out of my way, you hag, and if you touch me again I will tear your eyes out! I will not leave till I have seen him.(going to Don Quixote's bedside and seeing no sign of recognition) Don't you know me? I am Aldonza! (to the others in the room as if to plead her case) He knows! He must know... Please ... you are my lord, Don Quixote! Please - try to remember! (trying to find the words) It is important, everything....my whole life. You spoke to me

Suppose all ya ever had for breakfast was onion rolls. Then one day, in walks (gasp) a bagel! You'd say, 'Ugh, what's that?' Until you tried it! That's my problem - I'm a bagel on a plate full of onion rolls. Nobody recognizes me! Listen, I got 36 expressions. Sweet as pie and tough as leather. And that's six expressions more than all those...Barrymores put together. Instead of just kicking me, why don't they give me a lift? Well, it must be a plot, 'cause they're scared that I got...such

This morning a bird woke me up. It was a lark, or a peacock; something like that. So I said hello. And it vanished, flew away, the very moment I said hello! It was quite mysterious. So do you know what I did? I went to my mirror and brushed my hair two hundred times, without stopping. And as i was brushing it, my hair turned mauve. No, honestly! Mauve! Then red. then some sort of a deep blue when the sun hit it.... I'm sixteen years old, and every

Well it's done, I've passed the point of no return...I can't believe this has happened! All my life, I've been great in school, I've always been a leader, almost always the first in my class...until now. I don't know what got into me. I'm so angry at myself; I knew I should have studied harder. Ever since I

Well then how can you say such a thing, I want you to get married, how many times have I said to you I want you to get married. Only this morning I was saying to your father: I said Sextimus, I want that boy to get married, it just isn't normal for a boy that age to stay single I said after all he is a prince, don't forget that, and he is next in line for the throne. I mean we're not exactly the oldest people in the

What's going on Harmony? I don't get it, why is it when you become a teenager everything gets so confusing? I mean, what are they doing, spiking the make-up? Is there some unwritten law that when you become a teenager you move into the realm of insanity? If I remember correctly, that's about the time everything started getting

When I was very small...we used to take our sleds out in the wintertime and the only hills we had were the ice covered stone steps of some houses down the street. And we used to fill them in with snow and make them smooth and slide down them all day...and it was very dangerous you know...far too steep...and sure enough one day a kid named Rufus came down too fast and hit the sidewalk...and we saw his face just split open right there in front of us...and I remember

Yes, I have heard. My dear uncle is the laughing-stock of the entire neighborhood. Please don't be mad, we must do something about him! There is a certain embarrassment at having a madman in the family. Oh Sanson. I had hoped for so much for us. For you, really. Everything was to be for you. My uncle's house... his lands... I mean, if one is to serve science, one must have the means. But maybe you can consider it a challenge. Think what cleverness it would take to wean my

You and your obsession with rollercoasters. What’s the name of this one? Oh, “The Terminatrix.” How nice. Look, Derek, I— How do I buckle this thing? I got it. Derek, I think I’ve got enough adrenaline and funnel cakes in my system, I can finally tell you what’s in my heart right now. This might not be the best conversation to have on the rollercoaster, but if what I am about to say breaks your heart, you can just claim that whatever tears might be in your eyes are due to wind resistance. (Leans back – the

You may think that what I did next was scheming, devious. Pippin, let me tell you something about despair. I loved my husband very much. The years we spent together were the happiest years of my life. And then one day he was struck by fever: and when his hand went cold in mine, I felt my life, too, was over. I was overcome by the deepest despair. I took to my bed for five days. On the sixth day I got up. There were things to be done. An

Your children are just unhappy little marching machines. Take Liesl for example. Liesel isn't a child anymore! And if you keep treating her as one, you're going to have a mutiny on your hands! And Friedrich - Friedrich is afraid to be himself - he's shy, he's aloof, he needs your confidence! Brigitta could tell you about him. That's because she notices things. She always tells the truth - especially when you don't want to hear it. Kurt - Kurt is sensitive, he's easily hurt, and you ignore him! You

This fellow has undone me endlessly; Never was bride so fearfully distress'd. The more I think upon th' ensuing night, And whom I am to cope with in embraces-- One [who's] ennobled both in blood and mind, So clear in understanding, that's my plague now, Before whose judgment will my fault appear Like malefactors' crimes before tribunals, There is no hiding on't--the more I dive Into my own distress. How a wise man Stands for a great calamity! There's no venturing Into his bed, what course soe'er I light upon,

Life sucks, Dot. I feel like I can tell you this. I feel like I can be honest because you can't hear. Or can you? Look at you, eating your sandwich like a piglet while I talk. Strangely comforting... When I first met you, I mean when you first moved in, I hated you. I hated your face, your

That's not why I'm saying Chow Fun's. I'm saying Chow Fun's because we're an "us". There's a history and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy or somewhere back there, there were cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want to build another city. I like this city. I know where we keep

When I was in college, I had to write this paper....it was for some philosophy class I was taking, on any book that we thought best depicted the way that we viewed the world...and I can remember some people picking books by the great thinkers...Kierkegaard and Plato...some kids chose the Bible...I wrote my paper on "Harold and the

Poet Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "I cannot make my days longer, so I strive to make them better." With this election, we here at Carver also have an oppurtunity to make our high school days better. During this campaign I have had the oppurtunity to speak to many of you about your concerns. I spoke with freshman Eliza Ramirez, who told me how alienated she feels from her own homeroom. I spoke with sophomore Reggie Banks who said his mother works in the cafeteria and can't

Who cares about this stupid election? We all know it doesn't matter who gets elected president of Carver. Do you really think it's going to change anything around here? Make one single person smarter? or nicer? The only person it does matter to is the one that gets elected. The same pathetic charade happens every year and everyone makes the same pathetic promises just so they can put it on their transcripts to get into college. So vote for me, because I don't even want to go to college and I don't care. As president, I won't

You already know how famously they get along as friends, but did you know that their sex life is positively white hot? The main reason both of my marriages failed was sexual. I'm an extremely sexual person, I can't help it, it just how I'm wired, you know, even when I was a little girl. I had my

He knows a hero when he sees one. Too few characters out there, flying around like that, saving old girls like me. And Lord knows, kids like Henry need a hero. Courageous, self-sacrificing people. Setting examples for all of us. Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero

Hey, what's up, kiddo? Your daddy says you're wearing a sad face. Ain't good to have a sad face. Hey, how'd you like a coloring book? Would you like that? You like Mickey the Mouse? Oh, son of a b!*ch! Now come on, down to the car and let's all be friends. You see me smile? C'mon, let's

Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong about Elton, I was wrong about Christian, and now Josh hated me. It all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion, I was just totally clueless... Oh and this whole Josh and Ty thing was wiggin' me more than anything. I mean, what was my problem? Ty is my pal, I don't begrudge her a boyfriend. I really... Oooh! I wonder if they have that in my size! What does she want with Josh anyway? He dresses

So, OK, like right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all "What about the strain on our resources?" But it's like, when I had this garden party for my father's birthday right? I said R.S.V.P. because it was a sit-down dinner. But people came that like, did not R.S.V.P. so I was like, totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings, but by the end of the day it was like, the

All right. Loneliness. Well -- separated. From other people. Forgotten. Well, as if I can be here, I can go through the motions, right? But the truth is, I don't belong. Well, it's more than loneliness. Hate. People hating me -- and watching me and following me and wanting to hurt me -- you know. I'm all screwed up. The truth is I hate them: they must hate me. All right, the money. All right, not the money. A kind of put-on. It gets things back together. Well, let's say

"Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, / The Gunpowder Treason and Plot... / I know of no reason / Why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot..." But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes and I know, in his 1605, he attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400

Please, just listen. I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing. I know why you hardly sleep. I know why you live alone and why, night after night, you sit at your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he

I hate hospitals, but it wasn't really all that scary. All the needles and stuff. It wasn't that bad. I'll tell you what the scariest thing is to me - the scariest thing to me is Johnny. It is. He didn't say nothin'. Not one word. At least I don't know what it is, and I think he really did want it, too. Just a boy - you know how I know? I heard him tell your pa to paint the cradle brown. You just wouldn't put a baby girl

"There was a rustling, that seemed like a bustling of merry crowds jostling at pitching and hustling. Smatt feet were pattering, wooden shoes clattering, little hands clapping and little tongues chattering, and, like fowls in a farm-yard when barley is scattering. All the little boys and girls, with rosy cheeks and flaxen curls, and sparkling eyes

Please don't say anything. I'm leaving tomorrow for Paris, and I'll be away a long time. I don't expect you to think of me while I'm gone, you haven't thought of me while I was here. I just wanted to say, I think I know you better than anyone else. I mean whatever they think, or say, I

They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a b!*ch who looks exactly like me. They're in transition from a monogamous

I don't want love because for years I've only known the humiliation of it. I loved my husband desperately and he ended up killing himself with drink and gambling and left me with nothing. Apart from debts. We were married for twelve years. Everyone told me I shouldn't marry him - but I didn't care. We had plenty of money then but I'd have married him if he hadn't had a cent. He was such fun, lots of friends and we were terribly in love, but in the end he

My sister Rachel had this room once. She died when she was twenty-one. She was a wicked one. Handsome. And wild as a hawk. All the young men used to follow her about. With her red lips and her big eyes and her white neck. But that didn't save her. She fell off her horse, hunting. Hurt her spine. On this bed she lay month after month. Many the time I sat here listening to her screaming.

Lucky? Hmm...I wonder...I wonder how many girls would consider it lucky to be held in the strong manly arms of Don Lockwood, the glamorous star of the silver screen. A year ago it would have scared me half to death. That was when I was a member of your fan club. Fan? Me? I was the president! Do you know, I waited outside of the Brown Derby for two hours one night, just to get a glimpse of you? But it was worth it. You looked so dazzling in your

I always wanted to have my name in all the papers. Before I met Amos I use to date this well-to-do ugly bootlegger. He used to like to take me out and show me off. Ugly guys like to do that. Once it said in the paper, "Gangland's Al Capelli seen at Chez Vito with cute blond chorine."

My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, backflips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So

After my husband and I first arrived to Paris, I was afraid to ever leave our apartment. So I would stare out of the window into the alley and I would see this cat looking for scraps. One day some children came into the alley and trapped him into a box. I watched them light firecrackers and drop them into the box. I could hear him howl from three stories above. So finally I had a reason to leave my apartment..... Continued

Wait. For ten years, all I've wanted was to be one of American Ballet Company's perfect ballerinas. I've wanted to be you Juliette. But I'm not you, and I'm not perfect, I'm just me…

Nothing personal but I don't need a councilor. I don't even want to be here. Okay - I know you are not going to let me off the hook, so I will tell you about it once, just this once. It's been going on for a couple of months now mostly after school. I have to walk home pass the school parking lot. There is this group of guys. Not a gang or anything but guys best to avoid. They always yell stuff to me like shake it baby, nice

All my life, all I ever wanted to be was a rock and roll star. I was this dorky seventh grader from the Valley when I had my first cool experience. My boyfriend, Johnny Miller, had his dad drive us to see Ike and Tina Turner at the Hollywood Bowl. Oh man... she scared the sh!t out of me! It was the most bad-assed thing I'd ever seen a woman do. Suddenly, the idea of becoming a teacher or a nurse lost its edge. Heh, sorry mom. The second after

He gave me his card right in front of Don. Well, not right in front of him, I guess. Well, I told Don about it. I was a model, you know?In face I met Don at a photo shoot. I was wearing this Russian blue fox coat. He was just a copywriter at the fur company. I remember, he saw that I didn't like giving the coat back. It's always the hardest part. He asked me out. He wasn't shy. I liked that. I said no. Then three weeks later

Now, who turned the telly off? Don't they know how much you love your nature shows? (She turns off the tv). That's better. So how are you today mom? Did you have an ok night? (Pause) Listen, there's something that I have to tell you. Something that I should have told you long time ago.... I am pregnant....I...I am giving it away. It's for the best....

When I came out into society I was 15. I already knew then that the role I was condemned to, namely to keep quiet and do what I was told, gave me the perfect opportunity to listen and observe. Not to what people told me, which naturally was of no interest to me, but to whatever it was

I understand. A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they're not dead, really. They're just... backing away from life. Reach out. Take a chance. Get hurt, even! Play as well as you can. Go team! GO! Give me an L! Give me an I! Give me a V! Give me an E! L. I. V. E. LIVE!

I just want to apologize to Mike's mom and Josh's mom and my mom and I'm sorry to everyone. I was very naive. I was very naive and very stupid and I shouldn't have put other people in danger for something that was all about me and my selfish motives. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened because in spite of what Mike says now it is my fault. Because it was my project and I insisted on everything. I insisted we weren't lost. I insisted we keep going. I insisted we walk south.

The war had all but ground to a halt in the blink of an eye. Lucian, the most feared and ruthless leader ever to rule the Lycan clan, had finally been killed. The Lycan horde scattered to the wind in a single evening of flame and retribution. Victory, it seemed, was in our grasp, the very birthright of the vampires. Nearly six centuries had passed since that night, yet the ancient feud proved unwilling to follow Lucian to the grave. Though Lycans were fewer in number, the war itself had

Forty-six years, Phillip. Forty-six red roses; forty-six white. White for truth--red for passion. That's what you always said: "Passion and truth; that's all we need." I wish you were here, Phillip. I don't know what to do about Libby. She seems to have become so bitter. She was cruel about Mr. Maranov and she won't have our picture window. She says we're too old-our lives are over. I don't think I can manage her much longer. Oh, if only you were here, Phillip. Oh, Phillip, my corset has so many

Daddy... oh... and then what? Are you come up there and talk to me? Or are you gonna go out there and talk to her? Did you know he talks to my mother? Eeevery night he goes out there and he has conversations! My mother appears and he swims with her... and they probably even kiss. You were out there again tonight, weren't you daddy? You were out in the water with mommy! Weren't you?

There are times when you don't belong and you think you're going to kill yourself. Once I went to a hotel. That night...later that night, I made a plan. Plan was, I would leave my family when my second child was born. And that's what I did. Got up one morning, made breakfast, went to the bus stop,

I remember when I was in the Northeast still field-training as a cadet. I didn't know if I was gonna stick with it or not. And then we got this one call. We chased this purse-snatcher up into these apartments. I got separated from my FTO. Shit, I ain't even no police yet. You know, I'm just a trainee. And I'm alone. Anyway, I mean, I don't know how, but I find the guy....

I know exactly who you are. You're Kenny Fisher...we used to...we used to play Miami Vice in my basement. You used to sleepover my house...you had to leave the hall light on every night. You're Kenny Fisher who used to buy me a card every Valentine's Day and a bag of those little hearts with the words on them. And you're Kenny Fisher who suddenly got too cool to hang out with me when we hit junior high. Cause, I was in all the smart classes, and cause my parent's didn't make a lot of money. And cause

What do you want? You want a story? Okay. Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl whose stepmother always made her stay home with the baby. And the baby was a spoiled child, and he wanted everything for himself and the young girl was practically a slave. But what no one knew was that the

On the dark nights, on the stormy nights, you can hear him. He passes like the wind, and the flapping and fluttering of his great cloak, beating like gaunt wings, and the thunder of his horses' hooves is loud... and loud... and louder! At the midnight hour, down the road that leads to Sleepy Hollow, across the bridge, he goes galloping, galloping, galloping, always searching, always seeking. And if you stand on the bridge at the wrong hour, the hour when he rides by, his great cloak sweeps 'round you! He swings you

Seems like everybody is having sex but me. It's not that I'm against sex. I mean, it was clever of God or evolution or whatever to hook the survival of the species to it, because we're gonna screw around no matter what. It was a smarter thing to pick than, say, the instinct to share your toys or return phone calls. We'd have died out, like, eons ago. But on the minus side -- God, all the attachment that goes with it. It's like this net. Sex always ends

Look at the ugliness. Yet one has a feeling within one that blinds a man while he loves you. You, with that feeling, blind him, and blind yourself. Then, one day, for no reason, he sees you as ugly as you really are and he is not blind anymore and then you see yourself as ugly as he sees you and you lose your man and your feeling... After a while, when you are as ugly as I am, as ugly as women can be, then, as I say after

You're right, none, Henry and me have already decided... this dies here. I'm sorry sweetheart, but it does....and here's why. You know what this is? Test results on Jack's blood. Uncle's Charlie's blood taken over the years. And this is the blood test result that Jack gave me that proves he's not the father of Loretta McCollister's baby, and you know what Jack? It's not your blood. Isn't that a riot? The blood sample Dr. Beauregard took was not from you. It

Edward made his promise a long time ago, long before he met me. Though he may harbor some regrets, I believe he will be happy in the knowledge that he did his duty and kept his word. After all - after all that is bewitching in the idea of one's happiness depending entirely on one person, it is not always possible. We must accept. Edward will marry Lucy - and you and I will go home. [Marianne rebukes Elinor]

I never get mad, Mrs. Threadgood. Never! The way I was raised it was bad manners. Well I got mad and it felt terrific! I felt like I could beat the sh!t outta all those punks! Excuse my language, just beat them to a pulp! Beat them 'til they begged for mercy. Towanda, the Avenger! After I wipe out all the punks of this world I'll take on the wife beaters, like Frank Bennett, and machine gun their genitals. And I'll put tiny little bombs in Penthouse and Playboy, so they'll explode when you open 'em. And I'll

I had a dream the other night. I dreamt that Buddy was gone. I ran to his crib and there he was, sleeping like an angel. And you know, I thanked God for letting me still have Buddy. And I remembered having the same reaction after Frank would beat me, thanking the Lord for giving me the strength to take it. And I remembered thanking the Lord for each day that my mother lived. Even when she was spittin' up blood and prayin' for

I amar prestar aen. The world is changed. Han matho ne nen. I feel it in the water. Han mathon ned cae. I feel it in the earth. A han noston ned gwilith. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were

There are living among two dutiful daughters. Of a man who possesses two beautiful daughters, you cannot know nor yet try to guess, the sweet soothingness of their caress, the outstanding genius of this pair is understood by few, they are so rare... compared with these two, every man is a fool, the world is most honoured that they should deign to rule, and I worship the power of these lovely two, with that adoring love known to so few. 'Tis indeed a miracle, one must feel, that two such

I'm your secret. You do have secrets, Harry? I know you do. Sometimes you come over here and you don't tell me. Once I saw you up by the staircase, hiding and watching for a whole hour. You think you're gonna catch me at something, you know? I know when you come over. I can always tell. You

You understand what happened had to happen. Couldn't have turned out any other way. A woman's depressed...with herself, with life...with her husband, who made life possible for her until he was...bewitched by another woman, a Destroyer. Abandoned. Like someone left for dead. She plans her suicide. Until the dream begins.

Okay, there are two things that I remember about my childhood. I just don't remember it being this orange. First, I remember being with my dad. He would get these far off looks in his eyes and he would say, 'life doesn't always turn out the way you planned." I just wish I had realized he was talking

Um...do you rememer that day at the hospital? Of course you remeber that day at the hospital. Well, um, there was a little mix-up. Um, I saw Peter get pushed onto the tracks and, uh, I saved his life, but when I got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me see him, so, um, the -someone told the

It has been decided that you will be dressed as a priest... to help you get away in the pandemonium afterwards. Chunjin will give you a two-piece Soviet Army sniper's rifle that fits nicely into a special bag. There's a spotlight booth that won't be in use. It's up under the roof on the Eighth Avenue side of

Look, I know what you think. And I don't blame you, I've always thrown out such a jazzy line. But really...except for Doc...and you...Jose is my first non-rat romance. Oh, not that he's my ideal of the absolute finito. He tells little lies and worries about what people think and he wants to be the President of Brazil.

Sure. Sure. He's okay. Aren't you, Cat? Poor old Cat. Poor slob. Poor slob without a name. I don't have the right to give him one. We don't belong to each other. We just took up one day. I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure

I never wanted to be a mom. Well, sharing it with you is one thing, but caring alone the rest of my life, always being compared to you. You're perfect. They worship you. I just don't want to be looking over my shoulder everyday, for twenty years, knowing that someone would have done it right, done it better, the way that I can't. You're mother-earth incarnate, you ride with Anna, you know every story, every wound, every memory Their whole life's happiness is wrapped up in you. Every single

Hi, um... hello. I'm Mia. Um, it's stopped raining! I'm really no good at speech-making. Normally I get so nervous that I faint or run away, or sometimes I even get sick. But you really didn't need to know that... But I'm not so afraid anymore. See, my father helped me. Earlier this evening had every intention of giving up my claim to the throne. And my mother 0helped me, by telling me it was ok, and by supporting me like she has for my entire life. But then I

No. No, you can't. ...STOP! Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave...if you leave... I just, I remember things better with you! I do, look! P. Sherman, forty-two...forty-two... I remember it, I do. It's there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I

You know, I'm looking at this guy, right? And I looked at him a lot before. So now I know that I've got this little piece of him actually in me. Physically IN me. And it makes me feel completely different. I don't know, sorta special or something. And so I'm talking to him. I'm talking to him

Remember when you were six? You and your brother snuck into an empty building through a basement window. You were going to play doctor. He showed you his but when it got to be your turn you chickened and ran, you remember that? You ever tell anybody that? Your mother, Tyrell, anybody? Remember the spider that lived outside

You cannot understand because you are not a woman. You are not a woman born to be a farmer's wife but educated to be something better. You were not born a woman with a love of beauty, intelligence, learning, but who's position in the world forbids her to share that love with another......You are not the daughter of a bankrupt. You have not spent your life in penury. You are not condemned. You are not an outcast. I gave myself to the French Lieutenant so that I should never be the

You read her diaries? Oh, that's gross! That's bad. "Bad Mom" award. Nothing is going on between her and this guy. Because if there was, she wouldn't be writing about it in her diary, she'd be out there doing it. And her best friend probably isn't talking to her because she probably likes this guy, too. And

Mr. Bates, may I please speak with you? By what stretch of the imagination . . . I mean, like, how could I, like, get an "F"? I mean, what mistakes did I make? That was a college-level analysis. In a matter of fact I most certainly am qualified of making that point. "As in Hamlet, 'what's done

Big deal? You drove up in a cab. Did you see who had the best seat? I'm somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they'll all like me. I'll tell them about you, your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It's a reason to get up in the morning.

You must decide. You might get tired of this life. You might begin to miss your family. If it were our daughter, we'd look for her too. She would miss us. Jen...I want you to be mine forever. I will make my mark on the world. I will earn your parents' respect. We have a legend. Anyone who

Karl-Henrik and I had rented a cottage by the sea once. It was in June and we were all alone. One day Karl-Henrik had gone into town. I went to the beach on my own. It was a warm and nice day. There was another girl there. She had come from another island because our beach was sunnier and more secluded. We lay there completely naked and sunbathed... dozing off and on, putting sunscreen on. We had silly straw hats on. Mine had a blue ribbon. I lay there...looking out

When I was a little girl... my momma used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often... and I would... I would pretend I was a princess trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. Then suddenly, a knight on a white horse with colors flying would come charging up and draw

The hardest thing is deciding what I should tell you and what not to. Well, anyway, I've got a while yet before you're old enough to understand the tapes. They're more for me at this point... to help get it all straight. Should I tell you about your father? That's a tough one. Will it change your decision to send him here...knowing? But if you don't send Kyle, you

Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The Terminator would never stop. It would never leave him. It would always be there. And it would never hurt him, never shout at him or get drunk and hit him, or say it couldn't spend time with him because it was too busy. And it would die

It's like a giant strobe light, burning right through my eyes, but somehow I can still see. Look, you know the dream's the same every night, why do I have to... The children look like burnt paper, black, not moving. And then, the blast wave hits them and they fly apart like leaves...It's not a dream, you moron,

Of course he has a knife. He always has a knife. We all have knives. It's 1183 and we're barbarians. How clear we make it. Oh, my piglets, we're the origins of war. Not history's forces nor the times nor justice nor the lack of it nor causes nor religions nor ideas nor kinds of government nor any

I know you like me. I know it. For the last year or two you've been pretending that you hate me. I love you very much. I love you as much as I love anybody...as much as I love myself. And in a few years, when I haven't been around to be on your butt about something, or irritating

You know, it's really something that you're looking after Simon. And what I said on the street it was a bad thing to say. It made me sick to my stomach--it was a...bad thing to say. And I'd be lying if I didn't say...that I enjoy your company. But the truth is that you do bother me enormously, and I know that it-- think that it-- I think that it's better that I don't have contact with you because you're not ready! And you're a pretty old guy not

Declared healthy and sent back into the world. My final diagnosis? A recovered borderline... what that means, I still don't know. Was I ever crazy? Maybe... or maybe life is. Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret; it's you... or me...amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it, or wished you could stay a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends... and by the 80's, most of them were out, living lives. Some I've seen, some never again... but

If I could blast that stone into a million pieces, I would. If I could reverse the mortar and the flow of time, I would return that stone to dust...

And I told them I wasn't crazy, but they didn't believe me. Why would they believe me? I wouldn't believe me. I mean, I do believe me, but that's because I'm not crazy. And only a crazy person wouldn't believe herself. Unless she was acting crazy. Maybe that's a path I don't want to take.

My name’s Corinne. I’m a cashier at Coles. A “Checkout Operator.” People hand things to me and I hand them back and take their money.

Last night I had a dream that Harlem was all electricity and music. I dreamed that Joseph Louis Barrow hit that Max Schmeling with a punch...

My basic look. Just a black head cap. In the hospital, I call it my lymphomatotally-
sucks look. Mom calls it my don’t-bother-me look.

He taught me about death. (a long pause) The stench of death was so strong in our house, my mother couldn’t buy enough incense to cleanse the air.

Only through a child’s awe is the world innocent and free, then it all becomes a matter of responsibilities. A place, where love is sensuality of a moment:

Tch, not a bus in sight. Surprise, surprise—what can you expect at this time of day?

Do you think I'm fat? Okay so then why are asking me what I
want for dinner? I had a big, huge breakfast at like 12 P.M. and now
it's like what? 6 P.M.? Yeah. So why would I be hungry?

It started with 32 weeks, from conception to birth - a hurried, panicked affair, unexpectedly early, in the back seat of my Dad’s 1982 Taurus with ninety nine thousand, nine hundred and eighty seven miles on the odometer.

Here, come my friend. I give you a freebie. I read your tarot. I tell you your future. And this is freebie. This is free.

It's a conspiracy. Men. Pretending they care for you, when in the end, they only care for themselves.

How to hide in a town of three hundred and seventeen people.

Some people are born hitchhikers. Some people can pick a direction at random, stick out their thumb, and instantly, whoosh, a red Ferrari driven by a handsome man in dark glasses swoops in to whisk them off down the road.

Omg, yah, getting engaged is the end… I mean it’s not the end

the end, but sorta the end jk, jk, right, the story.

I am… stuffed! God, I'd love a smoke.

Ah, thou vexeth me.

I long to see thee smile. Come, stand next

To me; and we’ll gaze upon the earth awhile.

Do an old woman a favor and listen here for a minute. My baby ain't no hero like everyone say he is.

Take your seats and listen up. Your beloved Mr. Greer hasn’t much... Musser! In your seat.

Yeah I shot him. What'cha gonna do about it, huh? Fucking pig. Fucking woman-hating, vaginaphobic son of a bitch!

I’m sorry, mama. I’ve said some horrible things just now. It’s just… I have been trying. So hard.

Hi Roomie! We finally meet!

It's me! Yes! Your college roommate!

I recently ran into an Old High School Acquaintance. To my surprise, this formerly semi-religious Jew revealed he’d converted to Christianity.

Hello! I am so glad- happy- super excited to be here! Is that too much? Eight cups of coffee! I’m a little obsessive with caffeine. With everything! Okay, let me start over.

Dear Jesus, I’m sorry I called you a crock of shit. I just… (She drops her hands onto the bed) I’m not very good at this.

I can’t find the mall. I’m supposed to meet my friends. Hello? Hello? Mom? Anyone? Mom? Mom?

I’m an actress. And you know what that’s like.

The world’s a shithouse, Arthur. A shithouse. Camielle knows. She’s seen it.

Dear Jesus, please bless my mother in Heaven and my father and my dog Bernard! And my friend Samantha from my science class, because she’s so nice and she helped me in my lab last week.

Oh my! You smell like marijuana! (Small pause) I haven’t smelled that since I was a girl.

You're kidding me. You're fucking kidding me, right? Why are they coming here? (Small pause) No, Reggie, no!

Hi. My name’s Rebethany. Rebethany Anne Chastain. I know, it sounds British, don't it?

It’z like one spoiled roll…
Yeah, one spoiled roll, you’ve ruined my breakfast…

Son of a bitch calls me up said he wants to meet in a warehouse. I say no deal, muchacho. I always meet in public.

Do you think he spotted me? (She checks) Okay, all clear.

I mean, I would film myself
Just not with a porn person.

The day my best friend died, it rained. It was as if the Heavens themselves were –

You know what gets me, though, man? You know what really pisses me off? You know, with this whole “theater” thing?

All I want is something real, you know? Like copper wire. You can touch it. You can measure it, length, gauge, resistance.

When I was five I got a budgie for Christmas. My big sister named him Couscous and I taught him to say “Hello Polly,” which wasn’t either of our names, but hey, I was five.

Amber, you just have to help me pick out something to wear for the awards show.

…Can’t tell you how glad… no. Happy. I was to hear from you again!

Has this place changed me? No one for miles. No televisions. No computers. Or phones.

I didn't think we were going to get here. Did Ted tell you I got stung by a platoon of ants this morning?

Daryl is one year away from vesting. One year! All he had to do was put in one more deployment on the blue water, and we would have been fine. But no!

I never knew my mum. She died of obstetrical hemorrhage during childbirth; severe bleeding. She lived long enough to hold me in her arms, look me in the eyes and say, “Sam.”

Listen to me Jon, and I’ll never speak of it again. I know little of wars. No one knows how a war will end. But I know this.

I have not been enjoying my time, my year and seven months here. Hell, I’m not even sure why I’m in The Rubber Room.

Are you really married? Answer me immediately or I’ll get angry at you. We are enough close that you can tell me something about your mysterious life, can’t you? As you can see I am not asking you that much.

I felt obligated to serve. I had signed up for National Guard. A deal’s a deal.

I’m about to lose it. My baby is not sleeping again. I’ve been up every 2 hours for the past week pretty much.

We met later in life, long after we had both mostly given up on finding anyone and when much of the dating pool just screamed, "Red flag, red flag."

Today’s the thirteenth of February and it’s looking like I’ll be getting flowers from no one but my mother for the sixteenth consecutive Valentine’s Day.

Those two over there, they want me tell them what happened, but I won't.

You know which one of my jobs I love most, though? Being someone's
Shabbos goy.

Through a horrible miscalculation entirely of no one’s fault but my own, I found myself suddenly soulless in Santa Monica, California on a Tuesday with no transportation and a copy of Bukowski’s “Hot Water Music” as my lone companion.

Did you know reptile aliens have infiltrated our government? I ain’t just talkin’ ‘bout that show V. I’m talkin’ for real life.

Honestly! I should have my head examined. After my last experience?…you’d think I’d know better…but here I am…first thing in the morning…

Do you mind if I put on some music? You don't?

Category: Female Monologues