Red Dwarf
Posted @ 4/8/2012 9:08 PM by auditions_host |
Files in Film/ TV Monologues
Everyone's entitled to their beliefs, Lister. I never agreed with my
parent's religion, but I wouldn't dream of knocking it.
They were Seventh Day Advent Hoppists. They believed that every Sunday
should be spent hopping. They would hop to church, hop through the service,
then hop back home again.
You see, they took the Bible literally. Adam and Eve, the snake and the
apple--took it word for word. Unfortunately their version had a misprint.
It was all based on 1 Corinthians 13, where it says, "Faith, Hop, and
Charity, and the greatest of these is Hop." So that's what they did,
every seventh day.
I tell you, Sunday lunchtimes were a nightmare. Hopping around the table
serving soup...we all had to wear sou'esters and asbestos underpants.